Shine On
by Alec Shields
Summary: Once upon a time, Nittle Grasper ruled the music world, but a series of struggles inside and out broke them apart. Now after three years, Ryuichi comes back in search for what had gone missing before he left. Manga based. Yaoi
1. testing

**Shine On You Crazy Diamond**

A Gravitation fanfic written during the NaNoWriMo season of 2009 and continuing into whenever by Alec Shields aka doorknobofakender.

**Disclaimers:** I do not in no way or form own any part of the crazy series called Gravitation. I do however own a couple disgruntle cats, a plot of land, and an addiction to Iceman songs and Daisuke's technicolored jacket. And let's not forget the gymnastics of Rin and Kenichi's leg kicks. I am not writing this for profit, only as an exercise of silliness with a side order of tea. With milk.

**Author's Notes:** Once upon a time, I was working on a lovely and long Gravitation fic called _Splinters of a Song_. This fanfic had a lot of things going for it - Tohma and Ryuichi pairing, a bittersweet kind of goodness, and an ending that I could almost see if I squinted at it in the right way. But I started the fic during a depressing time and the more I tried to get into that same mood, the more I couldn't. So the story just kept going and going and when I started trying to type a little more on, I had a hard drive crash. Then I decided to just scrape it off and go off to new things.

And then NaNoWriMo happened. As some of you know, NaNo is that crazy month where people decide to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I had been doing it for years and this time around I was going with an original story like always, but it did not work. No matter how many times I looked at the idea, I just couldn't care about the characters. So I decided to re-write _Splinters_.

This is the result. The first two chapters sort of follow what I had wrote for _Splinters_, but by the third chapter, it became different. The first difference is a big one - it is following the events in the manga more. The second part is that it has a lot more people in it than just as cameos. The plot isn't really here still but I think the story flows along like it should, with some crazy bits and some bittersweetness. I also used a lot of information gleamed from watching J-pop videos on YouTube and especially the stuff by AxS and Iceman. I prefer Iceman's stuff (I like the heavy guitar sound more so than all synth playing and Rin's timbre is more my preference than Hiroyuki's though they both are good singers) so some of the stuff that wrote itself into the story is based off of things I've seen in those YouTube videos.

There will be slash and straight pairings, violence, craziness, and probably a good dose of music. There will be high times, low times, and insanity in between. There will be friendships and enemies and did I say craziness? Well, there will be that. The title comes from the Pink Floyd song series of the same name, which deals with growing old and becoming dead. This is written in Ryuichi's POV first person style except this part, which is a prelude and a hint to what is to come. So let's us begin in the past and work our way to the beginning of Gravitation. Enjoy.

* * *

_a 1, a 2. . ._

He looked like a strong wind would blow him away. Tohma raised an eyebrow, not sure what to expect from such an unassuming kid. Already he and Noriko had several possibilities lined up to fill out their band, all of them having some kind of spark to their appearance. This teen was scruffy but he also looked worn around the edges, the toes of his shoes scuffed, his tie undone at the throat, his hair mussed from constant finger ruffling. He was vaguely familiar as that quiet guy that hid behind a book and rarely spoke up in the class he shared with Tohma.

The brunet dropped a battered book bag to the ground and nudged it over to a corner, cleared his throat and looked at them. Again Tohma wondered about the wisdom of them even trying out for the Spring Festival this year. It had only been five months since Tohma met Noriko and they hit it off so well musically wise. They had plenty of time before the senior festival to find a singer for their band, but they felt it was time. The chemistry between them needed one last ingredient to make everything work before it all became a pipe dream and they went back to their real lives.

"Sakuma Ryuichi," the brunet said, bowing. When he stood upright, he smiled. "Second class age sixteen. You. . . you are auditioning singers, right?"

Tohma noted the voice quiet, soft, with good timbre but it didnt seem to have much staying power. But he was just talking. He could have a great voice once he starting singing.

"Seguchi Tohma," he replied, bowing as well. "Second class age seventeen."

"Inoue Noriko, junior classman age fourteen," Noriko piped up from her keyboards, winking at him. She and Tohma met in the Music Club at the beginning of the year, playing music off of each other and talking about what they would really like to do instead of going to cram school. One idea led to the next and now they were starting a band named after a type of cocktail Noriko's mother made them one time.

Ryuichi blinked, looking over at her and opening his mouth before snapping it shut. He looked down at his feet, rocking back and forth even as he ran his hands through his hair. Tohma and Noriko exchanged a glance and then Tohma held out a mic to Ryuichi.

"So, let's get started," he said, shuffling through his notes and selecting the ones with lyrics. He held them to Ryuichi who stopped his studying the mic to looking down at the paper.

"Um. . . I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

"I heard the other guys so I've got a good idea. . . although I think the words could use some tweaking. . ."

Tohma and Noriko looked at each other, and Tohma shrugged. It sounded a little weird, but if Ryuichi wanted to try singing without any help against their keyboards, then that was his choice. Setting the music sheets aside, Tohma flipped on the drum track. Noriko picked it up over her keyboard and added the guitar and a secondary piano track. Then Tohma filled the spaces, building layers of sounds around Noriko's tracks, building it all up to a crescendo of music to the part where the vocalist was suppose to jump in.

That was the real test. Only three people they had met that day could actually find the right cue, and out of that three, only one managed to have enough power to finish the phrase. Tohma knew he and Noriko played fast, and he knew it made things difficult for anyone trying to sing at their pace, but it wouldnt sound right if they slowed down.

Ryuichi caught the note, hit the right beat, and let his voice soar. He didn't break, he didn't lose power, and he built the words over their layers like he had been doing it for years. His voice still had timbre but now it also had punch, gaining an edge he never thought could be there. Tohma almost missed his next note, so startled as he noticed that Ryuichi actually was speeding up the melody making it fit better than what he had wrote. Noriko missed her entire next chord, so busy she was just staring at the brunet. Tohma couldn't help but stare as well, the way he gripped the mic and tilted his head back and growled the next stanza, his messy hair falling and shifting against his face. The tiny rehearsal room felt too hot, too tight and yet he was miles away, feeling that something had finally clicked into place that he never knew he was missing.

And then reality came crashing down hard around him and he was back in that tiny rehearsal room with dust motes dancing on the sunbeams coming through the high glazed windows, the final echoes of the music still echoing around them. Tohma's fingers shook as he pulled them from his keyboard and across from him Noriko was tucking her lavender hair back behind her ears. They looked at each other and then at Ryuichi, who smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.

Tohma took a deep breath. "Ryuichi, I think you're a perfect match."

_1. . ._

"Tohma? What are you doing here?"

Pausing just inside the small cafe, the keyboardist looked over the room, seeing the cheap tables and the messy floor before he looked at the brunet leaning on a broom. It had been just over a year since they've met and he still couldn't get over the differences between Ryuichi the vocalist, Ryuichi the student and Ryuichi the person. Right now, he was seeing Ryuichi the person, his lower lip slightly puffy from him chewing on it all the time, and his messy hair tamed back from his face by a headband.

"I've heard you were in trouble," he said, walking over to the singer. He could see the slight discoloration around his eye and a crack in his upper lip. "Ryuichi. . ."

"I'm fine," he replied, shrugging. "I got this from walking into the front door on my way out." Glancing over his shoulder as the cafe's manager appeared in the doorway, he went back to sweeping the floor, making trails in the days grime. "Look, can we not talk about it?"

"If he's hitting you. . ."

"He isn't. We've been yelling a lot but he doesn't hit."

There was a flash of something darker in Ryuichi's eyes, making Tohmas words die in his throat. The singer sighed and shook his head. "I guess it's a mote point anyways - he told me to go back to cram school or get out of his house."

Tohma chewed on his lower lip. "What did you tell him?"

"I'm grabbing my stuff after work and that's that."

Ryuichi swept the days debris out the door and put the broom away. He took off the apron and hung it on a hook behind the counter and slung his battered book bag over his shoulder.

"I'll take you there," Tohma said, already holding the door open. "And you can come home with me."

Ryuichi tilted his head to the side. "What about your parents?"

"They're in London," Tohma said, dismissing them with a wave. Ryuichi fell in step with him and he led the way to his car. Later, as they fumbled against each other in the dark, drunk on his fathers whiskey, Tohma remembered that dark look and wondered exactly who it was for.

_2. . ._

"Did you hear? There's supposed to be a scout in the audience tonight!"

Noriko bounced in place, her hair bright neon yellow and her lips painted a rich cherry color. Ryuichi looked up from his sketch pad, his face painted with subtle blues and greens matching the body glitter he rubbed over his chest. Tohma finished the curving line of liner under his eyes and tossed it into the bag holding all their stage make-up and shrugged.

"Do you think a scout would stay here through the whole set?"

Zepp Tokyo was packed full of people, some of them part of their following but most probably belonging to the night's headliner. They weren't bad, but Ryuichi insisted that they would not be the openers for this concert. Nittle Grasper was going on during the intermission as part of a small five band local talent display. It wasn't the best way to get noticed but it was like Ryuichi said they could either be known for being too childish or be known as a stand out act among other children. As always, Tohma wasn't sure why he said such things yet he went along with Ryuichi's ideas.

"They probably will stay at least to the intermission," Ryuichi said, glancing over at the clock on the wall and sighed. He put away the sketch pad and took out the last pieces to his stage gear - thin leather strips that he wrapped around his arms. Shaking his hands out, he flexed a couple times making sure the strips would stay in place and then went back into his bag.

"But would they stay to see us?" Noriko asked, gnawing on her index finger. "I mean, we're just a small time group."

"Do you think anyone can walk away when they see us coming on stage?"

It was true that they were a sight. Noriko in bright purple with her glowing yellow hair, Ryuichi half-naked and coated in body glitter, and himself in a green suit complete with a bowler perched jauntily on his head, they stood out. The other four groups couldn't match them when it came to style. Add their appearance with the sheer skills they had, well, Tohma was pretty confidant they would make a mark. He just hoped that a crowd this size would not drown them out.

Ryuichi pulled out a bright pink rabbit from his bag and stuck it on top of his head, posing as if he was holding a mic. Tohma blinked, and glanced over at Noriko who stared open mouth at the singer. He laughed and put the rabbit on the small table in their tiny room - probably once a closet by the amount of room they had and finger teased his hair back in place.

"Kidding!"

Noriko smacked him on the head. "What are you thinking? Who puts a plushie on their head?"

"It was a joke!" Covering his head, Ryuichi tried ducking behind Tohma. "Honest! My kid sis gave me him for luck but Im not wearing him!"

Just then the stage manager peeked in. "Hey! You've got sixty seconds to get ready!"

Scrambling for the door, Tohma had a funny feeling that there was much more to the plushie than a good luck gift.

_3. . ._

"Tohma?"

The years were good to him. He leaned against the railing in some hotel Tohma couldnt remember the name the early morning sky a cold backdrop for his slender form. He didn't smoke, barely drank, but before him, in this fall morning, Ryuichi was doing both, the air stained with his breath, and the bottle shaking in his hands. Tohma wanted to move forward and hold him, but he was scared to. He knew now more than ever how explosive his temper was.

"Yes Ryuichi?"

He turned, looking over his shoulder at the pale hints of light across the horizon, his profile stark and narrow and filled with sharp edges. With a start, he realized just how thin Ryuichi had become, at how sunken his cheeks had grown. The years were good to him, yet he was like a ghost of himself a thin shadow of the teen he remembered all those years ago.

"I think this is it."

Tohma sucked in his breath, and walked over to Ryuichi, taking the bottle from his hands and setting it down. It was true that they were no longer coasting off of high after high, that their music was getting brutal, and there was a maniacal edge to their laughter, but this being the end? It couldnt be they were still in top form.

"I can't do this any more."

Tohma bent down and tried to stop the words coming from Ryuichi's mouth. Under his lips, the singer felt stiff and cold and tasted of cigarettes and sake. He didn't bend, didn't move and Tohma pulled away, trying to see what he could not touch.

"I called Claude."

"Why?" Tohma asked, curling his fingers into fists, wanting to run away or pull this stiff cold Ryuichi into his arms.

"Because," he replied, looking up at him with clear blue eyes. "We should split before we break and lose all of this."

This time, when Tohma pressed against him, Ryuichi did not turn away.

_4. . ._

Three years. That's how long it's been since I heard the music. Don't get me wrong; America has its own music and its own method of doing things. I've heard their music and took it apart and put my own spin on it, but its not the place to go too far from the norm. They aren't good with change, and they want people to copy the going styles and not break free of that box. Even with K there I was still struggling, still trying to show them that the exceptions were good for them.

Weekly phone calls did not replace what I was missing. I could tell them what I was doing, play them pieces of what I was working on and just talk, but a phone wasn't a real person. I couldn't see their faces or watch them smile or hug them. How silly does that sound? I was the one the spotlights were trained on, standing up there singled out while the speakers pounded with the music. The genius singer Ryuichi Sakuma. Standing up there alone, untouchable, with millions of unseen eyes of worshipers trained on my every move. No wonder I would hide when the lights go out, burying myself behind a simple child's smile.

America was an eye opener in so many ways. I didn't expect to be so different that some labels refused to hear me sing. It reminded me of the effort it took with Nittle Grasper to get where we were back home. Of all the hours working at part-time jobs to keep myself feed, jamming with Noriko and Tohma the rest of the night and getting up the next day to do it again. The energy of being young and so optimistic that we will do that, we will get to the top. Losing myself inside that group, letting it shape me into a different person just so we would make it work.

Free of Grasper's shadow, I was able to find myself, or so I like to think so. Not 'self' in a musical understanding, but self of a personal understanding. The bits and pieces of my mind were brought back together and glued in place, although it took nearly a year of drifting to do so. I striped away the veneer of the genius vocalist and found my real voice again.

I suppose it was humbling to not make it huge. I did alright, and I had built a solid fan base that enjoyed all the odd music I was doing. Gone were the automatic number one hits and the platinum albums. I was just a regular guy with a good singing voice traveling across the huge country and trying to find a place. It was refreshing, liberating, and I think I did enjoy myself, playing smaller clubs or singing up for large touring companies. My English improved and I did a couple courses during a cold streak just for the kicks of it.

What was I searching for? Really, thats all it boils down to in the end. What was I looking for in those years?

I'm going back to the music. To Tohma with his gentleness holding an iron will. To Noriko with her mothering touch that never failed to sooth us. To me with my hidden sides that brought forth the music. I'm going home.

Even if home was no longer there for me.


	2. track one

**Shine on you crazy diamond**

**Disclaimers:** Are the same as before.

**Author's Notes:** So here is the start of the main bulk of the story. Ryuichi POV and in 1st Person. It follows Splinters pretty close but there are difference. Spot them if you can.

* * *

_**track one**_

No matter how high up the building went there was always some kind of noise. The sounds of the wind and the faint sounds of traffic, the slamming of neighbors' doors and the throb of music through the walls and the faint murmur of voices, no matter how high up I was, I could hear it all. Every city had it's own rhythm, the subtle changes in car sounds and the soft beat of the wind told different stories to one used to it. As for Tokyo, as for this sound, I knew it well.

Not that it was working tonight.

"It's not helping, Kumagoro!"

Usually that beat - the life of a city - would lead me deep within the silence of the mind. That place - some call it inspiration, I call it soul - made me what I was. Inside that quiet of the mind, I could find the right twist of words, the exact phrasing that would drag a nail across the spine of my soul and make me shiver. Sometimes, the words fitted just so, all the elements in place that made a hit a hit, other times it would fall apart and not be that good, even though everything I've wrote made it somewhere on the hit list. I had scrapbooks full of phrases and words that haven't found a home yet, and some days I would open them up and look for the perfect piece to fall into place.

But for some reason, it wasn't working. Maybe it was coming back here for the week, or maybe it was the concert earlier. Whatever it was, I just couldn't concentrate.

"What am I doing wrong, Kumagoro? The words aren't working!"

Looking over at the pink bunny sitting on my couch, a bright blue baseball cap perched on his head. I needed three more songs for my American label. Three more songs about love and hate and loss and yet I've been stalling for over a month trying to come up with the words. I had the music down, the studio had polished and primped it to perfection, but I just couldn't wrap my head around what I wanted to say.

"I can't think of anything new to say!" I said, stretching out on the floor and looking up at the ceiling. "I just can't! Kumagoro, what am I gonna do? K's gonna shoot me dead!"

No wonder people thought I was missing something - I did talk to a plush rabbit like it was alive. But I had always been like that, talking out loud or singing if I had an audience or not. That I turned my good luck present into my sounding board might have been weird, but people have grown used it since I've brought him everywhere with me and treated him like he was alive. In a way he was alive, brought to life by the amount of care I've given him.

Frowning at the plain white ceiling and wondering why they were left white when nothing else was, I listen to the inner voice that some people would call my inner child speak up.

"Get out of the apartment? Don't think about the music?" I scrunched up my nose and sat up, looking over at the bunny. "But K said. . . But I have to. . . Really? I'm suffering from not mingling and I need to get out and not think about music for a while? But I. . . Okay! I'll do it! I can work on the songs in the morning!"

Satisfied with my answer, Kumagoro fell silent, looking at my hasty scribbles with reproachful button eyes. I tossed my pen on the table and picked the bunny up and bounced over to my bedroom. I'm sure I could have claimed a nice mansion with hundreds of rooms, but instead I settled with a nice four room apartment in a quiet part of the city. The front door opened up to the living room/kitchen, which led to a small room that held my books and music and then there was the bathroom and the bedroom. Everything was painted in rich colors with polished wooden floors and simple furniture. I had a lot of pictures on the walls, most of them featuring the band with a sprinkle of other good friends and a couple of my kid sister in her high school uniform and sporting braces and skinned knees. And then there were the records gold and platinum with pictures of the artwork and a list of the tracks on each.

My bedroom was painted a deep violet color with the main furniture being an oversized bed and a chest of drawers. Being mostly nocturnal, I had put up blackout curtains over the window and then shoved the chest of drawers in front of that to block out as much morning light as I could. There was an assortment of fluffy, fuzzy blankets on the bed and I had at least five pillows stacked on top of the covers.

I shoved my over-night bag off the bed, turned down the covers and set Kumagoro in them. Leaving him there, I flung open my closet and dug around for something fitting for the night scene. Some of the stuff was from before I had left and some was from the hottest places in L.A., stuff I bought after much pleading, begging and bapping of Kumagoro on K's head. I dismissed most of it and pulled out a pair of leather pants worn to butter softness and fitting like a second skin. After a few minutes of indecision, I decided on a tissue thin shirt with the glittery words 'Pretty Boy' across the chest. Making a face at myself in the mirror, I decided on wearing a long choker chain and matching earrings with the shirt, wishing that K did let me get a nose ring. Or even a diamond stud it would have looked awesome and not like the mad dog image that K insisted it would make me look like.

I wiggled out of my clothing and pulled on the club gear, adding just a hint of make-up to make my eyes bigger and give my lips a just kissed look. To complete my look, I pulled on a leather jacket and posed a couple times for Kumagoro's approval. He gave it a thumb up, so I snagged my wallet and keys from my bag and told Kumagoro not to party hard and go to bed at a reasonable hour before heading out the door.

I made sure to lock up behind me, and took the stairs to the garage, singing the song I sang for that kid's debut earlier that night. It was a pretty tune, but it wouldn't match anything I was currently working on. Now if Nittle Grasper would ever do anything. . . I shelved that idea before letting it take over my thoughts. Now wasn't the time for thinking about the old group.

The stairs were deserted. I grinned to myself and burst into full song, my voice bouncing off the concrete and echoing up the stairwell for anyone to hear. Singing was one of the few things I could do and do well. All I needed was a simple rhythm, like the sound of my feet against the floor, and I could make a song. Step. Slide. Bounce bounce. Slide.

"Tooku de me o hirkarasete, mezameru mono-tachi matteriu. Yoru no jouheki sasowarete, utsuri sumu mure no. . ."

Breaking off the song, I banged open the door barely winded from singing while going down five flights of stairs. I always sing while walking up and down stairs it kept my lungs in shape for the more demanding touring and remained good exercise for my legs. It was something the press here loved to write about, labeling it as just another cute antic the 'genius Sakuma' would do for his fans. There were days that I wished I could strangle that genius just to get them to shut up about him just once. America spoilt me in that respect since the press there wasnt into trailing after me like a pack of rabid chickens.

K had parked my car in the same spot as always and I spent a moment running my fingers over the slick hood, feeling just a touch glad I had it here. I remembered when I first saw it in an import store, the deep purple paint calling for me. It took several years to actually have enough to buy it, and even then I barely drove it, so the paint was crisp and the interior smelt of leather and a hint of K's cigarettes.

I unlocked it and slid behind the wheel, shaking out my keys and sliding the right one into the ignition. The motor caught at the first try and I sat in the seat listening to the engine rumble, understanding why people were so fixated on buying cars with their money. Then I flipped on the radio and tuned into a popular music station and put the Porsche into gear. Laughing, I sped through the garage, hit the outside street and kept on going. I could almost hear K yelling something about speed limits, but I didn't care. A car like this was made to race and I was in the mood to give in to its needs.

I could see the horror on the faces of my adoring public at the idea of their child-like hero going out like this, with a mind empty of everything but needing a good time and finding someone to spend a night with. I was thirty-one years old, quite capable to take care of myself without needing a nursemaid. Yes, K followed me around the place, and before him there were other managers cum bodyguards, but it was more for my fans' protection than mine. If I was truly as idiotic as I acted, I doubt Tohma would have even wanted to stay around me for any length of time.

Singing along with the songs, I drove where the whim took me, speeding around the streets and letting the car go. The city was alive and pulsating with its inner music, mingling with the driving beat thudding over my speakers. I rolled down a window, letting the music come inside and sink into my bones like I had never left. America had a younger, livelier beat, but Tokyo's was deeper, older, mixed with the traditional beat hidden in the twisting allies. The wind tangled into my hair and the smells bit deep of crowds and exhaust and fish.

I came to a stop barely in time at a stop light and used the time to comb my hair back from my eyes with my hands. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw a neon sign for a club and decided to stop there for a drink before continuing driving. I made a hairpin turn into the parking lot, found a spot to claim and came to a stop. Fishing out a pair of sunglasses, I put them on, turned off the radio, rolled up my window, and exited the car, making sure to lock it behind me. There was a small line in front of the club but the bouncers weren't being stingy with letting people inside, so it took no time at all to go in.

Multicolored lights flashed overhead, bodies pressing together in contortionist's rhythms with the blaring music melted minds and shattered eardrums. Stepping into the club, the floor slanted down and opened up into the dance floor, while on either side the bar and a few tables could be found. I headed for the bar, used to walking around in dark places while wearing sunglasses. I got bumped into and groped by those crowding the balcony and did some groping back before I managed to squeeze between a couple people and smiled at the cute girl tending the bar.

She smiled back, finished a mix and handed it over to someone before asking me what I wanted. I ordered a simple scotch on the rocks and watched her juggle as she put my drink together. I dibbed my pinkie into the glass, making the ice chime against the glass and then brought my finger to my lips, sucking it off. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink that matched the streaks in her hair, but before I could ask her anything, she was dragged away by another order. Sighing at the loss, I turned my back to the bar and watched the gyrating bodies below.

I could feel the tension at my neck and shoulders slip away - tension I was sure started at the messed up concert earlier that day. Singing can and often did soothe the savage fangirl but the crowd had been large and I knew that if I couldn't get them calmed enough to let the kid sing, he would never try it again. For some reason he had reminded me of me when I first saw a crowd that huge, all of those people just waiting for the magic of music to take them away. I had frozen for a moment, but then Tohma had nudged me and Noriko had thrown a paperclip at my head and that frozen feeling was gone. But that kid. . . he had looked like he'd seen his death sitting in that crowd.

Bringing my glass to my lips, I knocked back the drink, feeling the familiar sting as the alcohol brunt a path straight to my stomach. I put the glass down on the bar, made sure to stuff some payment in it, and headed for the dance floor. I threw myself into the beat, hands touching hands, bodies pressing tightly against bodies, surging and sweating and mingling, the lights flashing against the insides of my eyelids. I gave myself to this rhythm, letting it carry me alone in the crowd, alone under a different sort of mask.

A warm body pressed hard against me and I opened my eyes to look down at her. She was flush against me, her hips grinding back against me, and her head resting on my shoulder. I could see down the front of her tiny dress, the curve of her collarbones and the arch of her neck as she stretched and wrapped her arms around my neck. I spread my hands over her waist, amused to find her skin was bare there as well. She panted, her lips brushing the skin of my neck and I bit back the squeak that wanted to come out.

This wasn't the first time nor would it be the last. I may act like a child, but I liked being with people and finding someone warm to cling to. And if I happen to find someone willing for a night, then I went for it. She turned, her chest pressing against mine and her right leg, rubbing against my crotch. I licked my lips and bent down, enjoying the wicked grind of her lips against mine and the taste of sour apples in her mouth. Pulling away, I raised my hand and pressed my fingers against her lips, smirking as she took my index finger between her lips.

"Wicked girl," I said, leaning close enough to whisper to her. "No commitments, no regrets, let's see if we can find heaven or hell tonight."  
"No regrets," she replied, letting go of my finger in favor of licking her cherry colored lips. "And heaven's what you make of it."

I felt my mouth curve and I kissed her again, her body pressing hard against mine. We pulled apart and I took her hand in mine, leading her off the dance floor and out the door. It took a while to get there since we stopped every few feet for some serious grinding and kissing. It felt like I would finally satisfy a few cravings tonight but upon reaching the car, I realized that it wasn't going to happen.

Someone was leaning against it; a lean body dressed in deceptively youthful clothing, a hat on top his bright hair and sunglasses covering his eyes. I noticed the slight downturn of his lips before his blank smile crossed his face. I stopped and my companion stumbled against me in her too high shoes.

"I had thought you would be safely tuck away in bed," Tohma said, a slight tease in his voice. "But instead I find you seeking another's bed. Is that what they teach in America?"

"Hey, it's none of your business," my companion said next to my elbow, her hands wrapping tight around my upper arm.

She really didn't notice the way his gaze flicked to her or the way his smile tightened around the corners of his mouth. I sighed and wiggled my arm free, wondering which game I should play the jilted lover or the hyper clueless child. The woman tried grabbing my arm again and I took a step back deciding on the more dangerous game.

"Well, if someone was going to stay the night instead of teasing and leaving, I wouldn't have to go looking for another bed," I said. Tohma's eyes narrowed and I grinned easily, ignoring the gasp next to me. "Or does catching your flight mean more then staying with me?"

"You've made it quite plain that you were only playing around," he replied. Oh ouch, he knew what I was doing and didn't like it.

"Don't tell me you don't like our games."

"I never said that."

"Hey!"

We both turned to the woman I've brought out of the club. She looked weird out under the streetlights, her hair a straggling mess, her lipstick smeared, her too tight clothing showing a few unsightly wrinkles and bumps. Usually I was better at picking out people, but she just seemed like a perfect no one to forget with. Not that I could forget with Tohma standing there radiating amusement.  
"What is this, some kind of lover's spat?" she said, stamping a foot. "I won't be used like this!"

"Then maybe you should leave before you are," he said, smoothing his vest down.

"You jerk!" She slapped me, knocking my sunglasses off and ran back to the night club. I straightened, touched my cheek and sighed. Tohma bent over and picked the glasses up, tucking them into his vest pocket and taking out a handkerchief from the same pocket.

"You've got lipstick all over your face."

I took it and started wiping it off. "Why are you here?"

"I had gone to your place and found you gone so I ask Kumagoro where you went. Since you're supposed to keep a low profile, I felt it was necessary to stop you from getting too carried away."

"In other words, I need to finish those tracks?"

He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled his real smile. "Something like that."

I snorted and handed him his handkerchief back. He tucked it away and opened the passenger side door. I remembered that he also had keys to my car, since there were times all three of us went out in the one car and none of us were sure who was going to drink and who wasn't.

"I'll take you home."

"But who's going to take you home?"

"I have a plane to catch tomorrow so I was hoping I could stay at your place tonight."

His hand lingered on top of the door, his body tensing for different reasons then before. I touched his hand, feeling the strength inside of him. He didn't lean forward, didn't blink behind his glasses, but I heard him suck in his breath. I thought about the reasons why we fell apart, about his wife, about how we shouldn't start anything, but then I leaned forward, brushing his lips with mine.

"Sure," I said, and climbed into the seat. "You drive."

Tohma let his breath out with a soft hiss and closed the door. I leaned back and closed my eyes, feeling the car rock slightly as he got in. It took us no time at all to get back to my place.


	3. track two

**Disclaimers:** Same as before. No plot bunnies, Kumagoros or singers were harmed in the making of this story.

**Author's Notes:** So here we go - the start of something new. While the first few paragraphs follow Splinter's, the rest heads off to new shores. After this chapter, the differences will show up. There is a hint of a Tohma & Ryuichi pairing here.

* * *

_track two_

Six in the morning was way too early to get up. Only that strange breed of person called a morning person or a milkman could be happy getting up before the sun had a chance warming the day. Being nocturnal, I could never function properly until I had several cups of coffee in me, and even then I usually ended up taking a nap around noon. Unfortunately for me Tohma was a natural morning person.

Burying my head under blankets, I swatted ineffectively at the hand shaking me by the shoulder. Tohma only laughed softly, his voice slightly muffled by the thickness of my blankets. He then leaned down and goosed me, and making me abandon my blankets in order to protect myself from his wandering hands. Without me hanging onto them, he yanked the blankets away.

"Tohma! It's cold!" I said, flailing with one hand while trying to cover myself with the other hand at the same time.

He laughed again, sounding happy and relaxed. I squinted at him, noticed that not even a strand of his bright hair was out of place, and picked up a pillow to bop him with. Tohma let go of the blankets and held out his hands, still smiling even as I tried to hit him.

"Evil morning people and their evil blanket stealing and their big cold feet and their evil morning evilness," I said, trying to get around his hands. So help me, I was going to hit him a good one and knock that hat off his head.

"I do not have cold feet," he stated, grabbing the pillow and trying to tug it away.

"Do too! Big cold feet and very evil coldness too!"

"Ryuichi," he said and gave a shake of his head, letting go of the pillow and kissing me instead.

I stopped trying to hit him and instead tried to drag him back into bed. He kept the kiss short, pulling away and spending a moment to smooth the front of his shirt and finger comb his hair back. I licked my lips and put his hat on my head, not really caring that I was still a mess from last night.

"I need to catch my plane," he said, reaching over and stealing his hat back. "I still have some business to conclude and I had only planned to see you perform."

Suddenly cold, I turned around in the bed, reaching down to grab my blankets. I knew that this would happen. I should have stayed as far away from him as I could, but as always, I had found myself breaking my own rules.

"Ryuichi?"

I waved a hand at him, and felt the bed shift with his weight. Looking over my shoulder, I could see him sitting on the edge of the bed, a very un-Tohma like expression on his face. I attempted to smile at him but he wince, looking away. I shifted, sitting up and draping myself against him.

"Sa, Tohma, you really make it hard for me to want to share you with others," I said. His hands curled around mine, holding me close. I smiled and nibbled ever so lightly on his neck. "I suppose I should let you go back to London."

He sighed and gently pulled away from me. I looked up at him, and he bent down to give me another kiss, and then he tossed my blankets over my head. Flailing, I missed his goodbye but that was okay since we both sucked at them. Grumbling a bit more about evil blonds and their need to ruin my beauty sleep, I straightened out my blankets and cuddled Kumagoro.

Blissful sleep soon claimed me again and I was dreaming about climbing the world's largest sundae when everything was jerked into daylight and I, my blankets, and Kumagoro were flying through the air. I landed in a tangle of cold limbs and blankets, fingers still twitching for the spoon I was going to stab the large cherry with. After a moment, I realized that I was no longer dreaming and that someone had decided to make a singer pile in the center of the room. And since Tohma had left already there was only one other person who would do such an evil thing to cute little me.

Unearthing myself, I glared at the evil blond number two aka K standing the middle of my bedroom. K didn't flinch at my look of death, only grinned wider at me and the mess of my room. Grumbling under my breath that everyone was trying to kill me, I decided that since no one was letting me sleep in my bed, then I would just sleep on the floor. But before I could actually tug the blankets over my head, K ripped them all away from me.

"It's time to get up!"

I blew him a raspberry and tugged a couple pillows over my head. Since I wasn't getting my blankets any time soon, I just had to make do with whatever I had to stay warm. But K was waiting for that. He swooped down and pulled all the pillows out of my grasp as well, leaving me alone, on the floor, with a pink rabbit acting as my only claim to modesty.

"So, hot date last night?"

"Eh?"

I was seriously working on one brain cell and didn't exactly get his words until that brain cell caught another brain cell's attention. And then my cheeks heated up and I tried to curl up in a very tight ball to keep K from noticing everything. Of course, that exposed the bruising and the scratches along my back and the rather nice love bite on my shoulder. K's laughter boomed in the small room as I felt a slow heat across my cheeks. As my manager, he had seen me with worse marks, but these were different. I sat upright and threw Kumagoro at him. K caught him and sat the bunny on his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at my pout.

"Time to get up, lazy bones!"

"I dun wanna," I muttered, crossing my arms and sticking out my tongue. Of course by this point, I was just protesting in name only since I was pretty much awake. And cold. And wanting to just day dream about last night.

"Even Kumagoro says it's time, isn't that right?" He turned to the rabbit and I sighed, eyed the traitor and climbed to my feet grumbling. I marched to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, still grumbling while I took care of business and brushed my teeth. Deciding that K and whatever insane mission he had for me could wait, I went into the shower, turning the water on scalding and leaned into the spray, thinking.

Last night wasn't what I expected. I'd figured that Tohma would just allow a couple kisses before pushing me away. Instead, he clung to me almost desperately, his mouth hot on me, his hands clawing and gripping like he was afraid of falling. I was afraid to let him go, so I tried to make him remember everything the nights spent lazing in bed, the soft looks, and the heat of the stage. I wasn't sure if I succeeded though I was sure that he missed me. He'd never been so possessive before.

Giving myself a shake now was not the time to drift off with K standing around and no doubt making plans I washed, rinsed and dried myself in a hurry. I tore through my closet and pulled on some jeans and a shirt three sizes too big and grabbed a jean jacket from my overnight bag. K was puttering around in my cozy kitchen, so when I emerged from the soothing dark bedroom and growled at the sunlight, K appeared and shoved a mug into my hands.

"Have some coffee - extra black just the way you like it."

I took a sip, and squinted at the fuzzy room, wondering where my sunglasses were. It didn't help much that K was chattering away non-stop about some kind of interview or something and trying to steer me out the door and shove a pink rabbit in my hands. I stuck Kumagoro on top of my head for safe keeping and continued to wander about the place, looking for my sunglasses to block out all that morning sunlight. After I nearly tripped over his big feet, K finally understood that I was looking for something and came to my rescue. Sunglasses finally in place and caffeine finally working on my poor sleepy self, I was able to catch some of K's words.

"- of course, we don't have to talk to them right now, but if we get it out of the way "

Oh. Business stuff. I buried myself into my mug until it was empty and I realized we were on the road in a rather ugly mini-van. Peering over the edge of my sunglasses, I watched the Tokyo skyline move around us, the streets going by quickly with K's hands on the wheel. Strange. I'd thought that I would have felt a lot more nostalgic than I did. Tokyo was home after all. I was raised here, I had family here, and yet it just seemed like another town.

"You're being awfully quiet, Ryuichi," K said, merging seamlessly into another lane, heading for downtown.

"Probably jetlag," I replied, leaning back and making sure Kumagoro was still sitting where he belonged.

"Jetlag, huh? From all reports, you were pretty hyper last night."

I smiled a little and shrugged. "It's the stage, you know that."

"True, true. Noriko said you destroyed her plans for a surprise."

"Don't I always?" I was starting to feel a little bit better, spotting the nice gleaming walls of the N-G Productions building up ahead.

He laughed, glancing over at me. "Of course you do! I don't understand why you even came here if you weren't going to follow a plan."

I remembered the call Noriko made, and how happy I was to do something for her. I rarely got to see her since she really was just a stay-at-home mom these days. Unlike Tohma, she never had a reason to come to America and look me up. Even though I did mess up the whole surprise, it was still nice to see her again.

"Because!" was my reply as I bounced a little in my seat. He had just pulled up to N-G and I was eager to see how it looked. Tohma had told me about the latest renovations and how he decorated his office, but I haven't been in there since I had left Japan. I had seen some pictures, but not actually explore the place.

"Oh? Sounds like a good enough reason for me," K replied and turned off the engine. He let me out and I bounced in place, waiting for him to unload his brief case and guns. I don't know how he managed to get his guns through Customs and I really did not want to know. I hummed to myself and adjusted Kumagoro so he wouldn't fall off while I waited. All geared up, K lead the way to the building, and I followed as I started to hum a child's song.

N-G was Tohma's brain child. After we hit it big, Tohma wanted to make a place where we could call the shots and help other artists that weren't quite right by the rest of the music industry. We had barely gotten a label to sign with our first few records and it was only because of something Noriko called 'our nose bleed appeal'. Our labels had been some of the worse things we ever faced in the recording business and Tohma felt that it could be much better if we controlled our own. Of course, he owned most of it, but Noriko and I still had our little says in things.

I think the best part about it was the financial security it offered us. Our music wasn't going to last forever, but holding some shares in a successful company would. That plus the bank accounts Tohma made sure we had set up were part of the reason why I could go off and do whatever I wanted in America without trying so hard at trying to make a hit. I did, of course, but I didn't need to work so hard if I really wanted to be lazy.

"Do you remember what we are doing today?"

I turned around and walked backwards, pouting up at K. "Am I supposed to remember? I thought that's why you follow me around."

"Do I have to get standby out?" he replied, his hand going to his inside pocket. I held up my hands and bounced backwards a couple times.

"Nah, K. It's fine! I don't need standby! I looked up at the sky and stopped, too busy to notice Kumagoro had just fell off my head. "I am seeing a music news reporter about my new American album?"

"Almost!"

I chewed on a fingernail. "I am seeing a reporter about last night's concert?"

"Bingo!"

I clapped my hands, realized that my rabbit wasn't on my head and went looking for him. Unfortunately, K caught up fast, shoving the rabbit back into my hands. I grumbled at his speed, sulking behind him as we went into the building and up a few floors. The elevator doors binged open and I was treated with the pale yellow walls of a typical office space, the floors a soft white tile and the furniture of good heavy Western pieces that had the battered look of being well-used by the workers. As typical the furniture and dcor was, the sound systems and video playback machines were all of top quality in each room I walked past. The sound-proofing was also of high quality, dimming what could be very loud voice to a distant murmur once the doors were shut.

K led me to a room with blue trim, the TV on and showing last night's concert in grainy home made quality. The reporter had brought with her a photographer and a tape recorder, the photographer looking almost as tired as I felt. I hugged Kumagoro to my chest and beamed at them, letting K lead me around to a chair and sitting down. They took a couple pictures and then the interview started.

I admit that I play up my childish side for the press. They loved it, the public loved it, and I enjoyed how off-balanced people got when they first meet me. It didn't discourage some people, and I knew there were always people who found the idea of an idiot savant attractive, but for the most part people want to protect me from the world instead of hurt me.

The reporter was a nice lady, asking a few questions about my own musical plans, but for the most part stuck with talking about this new star Bad Luck and my thoughts concerning them. I answered truthfully without making it sound like the kids needed a few more tweaks, sometimes, letting Kumagoro do the talking. Once the interview wrapped up, she asked me for an autograph before leaving. I leaned back in my chair and yawned, sticking my rabbit on my head.

"Anything else, mister manager sir?"

K checked the time and shook his head. "Nope, nothing."

"Great!" I jumped up to my feet and headed for the door. "I'm gonna visit Tohma and check this place out, okay?"

"Now don't get lost," he replied, looking at me over his sunglasses.

I pushed mine on top of my head and grinned. "Don't worry, I'll be okay!"


	4. track three

**Disclaimers:** Same as before and probably won't be changed any time soon. Sigh.

**Author's Note:** Okay, in this chapter there is some mild Tohma and Ryuichi, Ryuichi and Mika, and Mika and Tohma for pairings. Nothing explict, but it is there, more or less.

* * *

_track three_

N-G was bright, shiny and new to me but it felt like an old glove. I wandered around the place, peering into rooms and catching a couple artists recording in the recording booths. None of them looked familiar so I didn't stop to chat. To keep Kumagoro safe, I found Tohma's office and sat him down in Tohma's chair before continuing my explorations. Soon I found myself on the rooftop, letting the air wake me up.

That was where Tohma found me, half asleep and sitting in the sun. I squinted up at him and held my hands out to him.

"Uppies?"

Instead of pulling me up, he sat down next to me. I sighed, leaning against him and felt his fingers comb through my hair.

"It seems I have an American tearing apart my building," he said lightly. "You wouldn't know anything about this, now would you Ryuichi?"

I shook my head, snuggling closer. I was tired and he was both warm and familiar. Whatever K was doing to the building would be easy to repair, unless he had taken out his bazooka.

Tohma chuckled, his hand going from my hair to the back of my neck, kneading softly. I sighed, melting even closer against him.

"I missed my plane this morning and now Mika is coming home to yell at me," he said, and I could almost see the amused little smile he was wearing. Their relationship was one of the strangest I've seen while they clearly cared for each other, they still spent time with other people. It was almost like K's marriage save that K and Judy did not have other bed partners.

"To tell the truth, I think she wanted to see you too," he mused, his hand drifting to my shoulder. "I think she was mad I didn't tell her that Noriko was back playing keyboard and that you were here for a week."

"Mm?" I think I was falling asleep with the warm sunlight and his fingers rubbing small circles along my shoulder. Even the distant sound of thunder and the building shaking didn't make me want to move.

Tohma sighed and his fingers tighten their hold. I muttered something about a pink cow in protest and felt more than heard him laugh. The building shook again and there was a loud bang very close by.

"I think I better return you to K's tender care before he destroys the building," Tohma said, pulling away. I raised my head and blinked, Tohma's features a blurry mess of pale hair and plump lips. I yawned and tried to keep him from standing up, but he managed to stand up with me clinging on his suit like a monkey. There was a louder bang, and I peered around Tohma's shoulder, seeing a tall figure in a leather jacket come our way.

"Um, hi?"

"So, you've been hiding Ryuichi, Tohma."

Tohma turned me still clinging on him like a wet noodle and shrugged. "I was merely keeping him company. I think jetlag has finally caught up to him."

I yawned and nodded, trying to bury my way under Tohma's feathered coat. K had other ideas, grabbing me around the neck and pulling me away. "Well, I guess I better take him home and get him to bed."

"It's fine, K. He can sleep on the couch in my office and you can pick him up later on."

He let me go and I promptly fell flat on my face, whining about the evilness of the blonds in my life. Just once, I wanted them to stop talking and let me sleep and not drag me about and then drop me on my face. I flailed as someone picked me up and started carrying me, not really hearing the voices around me or noticing that the sunlight faded to a more tolerable level. There was a feeling of wind, a few murmured words and then something soft and smelling like Tohma was tucked around me. Snuggling into the fabric, I think I slept. Or at least I dozed because the next thing I knew, Mika was jabbing me with the heel of one of her shoes.

"Dun wanna," I grumbled and tried pulling Tohma's coat over my head.

She was one step ahead of me, holding the coat in place and continuing her attack on me. Opening my eyes, I stuck out my tongue and sat up. The sun was turning dull in the sky, and Tohma was sitting behind his desk, his chin resting on top of his folded hands as he watched us.

"I wonder what the press would think of his morning grumpiness," she said, tugging the jacket completely off of me. She poked me again until I scooted around and made room for her to sit. "Or that he has such skinny ribs," she continued, throwing the jacket over the back of the couch and giving me another poke.

"Tickles!" I yelped and poked back.

"Now now, Mika, Ryuichi is the press' darling no matter what he does."

"Is he?" Her eyes narrowed, and next I knew, she was clinging tightly to me and going for a deep kiss. I blinked and glanced over to Tohma, who just shook his head and got up, walking over to us.

"I think youre scaring him."

"Well, he deserves it for dragging you from our vacation," Mika replied as she pulled away.

"He doesn't like it when people talk around him like he's not hearing you," I said, wiping off her lipstick. I stuck my tongue out at them and gave them both a good raspberry.

Tohma bent down and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I'm sorry Mika, but I have missed him a lot."

Mika smiled and relaxed, scooting over so he could sit between us. "I know, Tohma, but next time, you should tell me that you were going to meet him instead of saying something came up."

"I didn't plan on coming back this soon," I piped up from my corner, peering around Tohma at her. "Honest, Mika. I was called out of the blue by Noriko."

"So I get to blame Noriko?" she said, leaning forward to meet my eyes. I nodded and she sighed, grabbing her purse and digging around in it. "She should have told me she had hatched a new kind scheme."

"I don't think she meant to keep it from you, Mika," Tohma said. Mika made a face and dropped her purse, leaning against Tohma.

"I'm still mad at her, but I'm too tired to care. Did you know they lost one of my bags? And the change over was completely screwed up! I think my feet are completely swollen from wearing these shoes all day long."

"Maybe we should all go home and get some sleep," Tohma said, his hand tugging lightly on her hair. "And then you can call Noriko and plan a night out."

"Would you be there?" she asked, leaning forward again. I thought about it, finding Kumagoro and chewing on his ear. I was kind of hoping to catch Shuichi's act now that he wasn't pressured to perform like he was up on stage, but hanging out with the gang did have it's appeal. I nodded and she smiled, leaning back against Tohma.

"I think we should head home," Tohma restated, turning his head so that he was talking into Mika's hair. "And then we can make plans."

"But that means we have to move," I grumbled and hid my face against soft pink fur. Mika echoed the comment with a few grumbles of her own and Tohma shook with silent laughter.

"You two. . . fine, we can stay like this for a little longer."

Of course that was when the door banged open causing all of us to jump. I peered over Kumagoro's head and stared at the scary sight of a K grinning widely in my direction. I tried to hide under Tohma, but with the three of us squeezed on to the couch, that was a little harder to do than I thought it would be.

"Good morning, Ryuichi! Are you finally awake?"

"Hello, K," Tohma said, his eyebrow arched. "To what can I owe this pleasure?"

Oops, Tohma wasn't amused. He may sound polite, but there was an extra edge of ice to his words. He did not like his quiet time getting disturbed, even if K had a level of access to us then any normal manager.

"I was going to take Ryuichi home," K replied, lowering his voice slightly but showing no other fear.

"Don't you have people to shoot somewhere else?" Mika growled from her end of the couch.

"Not a chance!"

"Mika, would you go with K? I have a couple more things to check and then I will be home shortly."

Both Mika and I looked at Tohma. He was smiling, but in a way that made me shiver slightly. I looked over at Mika, and she bit her lower lip and nodded slightly. It took a few seconds of wiggling around but we both finally got off the couch. Mika and Tohma exchanged fond pecks on the cheeks and then K was leading us off. He got us into the elevator and down stairs and somehow managed to get his hands on a nice car instead of that cheap van from earlier. Mika and I sat in the back seat while he drove through the traffic like he had something against it.

"So you're going to be here for a week," Mika said, staring out of her window. I yawned and nodded. She snorted and glanced over at me.

"I would like to see my husband while you're here."

"Huh?"

"Don't start," she said, digging around in her purse. Fishing out a cigarette, she lit up and blew smoke. "I know how you two get whenever you're near each other."

"Oh," I replied, nervously chewing on one of Kumagoro's ears. "I'm sorry?"

"You should be. You could have at least shared."

I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to hide behind my rabbit and not really succeeding. Mika just looked at me and then leaned forward.

"You can drop Ryuichi off at our place, K. I'm sure he and Tohma have a lot to talk about still and I really don't want to be home alone."

K used the rear view mirror to look at me. "Is that okay, Ryuichi?"

"It"ll be fine," I said, grinning as non-nervously as I dared. K frowned but changed lanes anyways, heading for Tohma's house instead of my simple apartment.

A few minutes later we were there. K got out and held Mika's door open and continued to hold it open while I climbed on out after her. He caught my collar and held me back as Mika dug in her purse in a search for some keys.

"Are you sure about this?"

I looked up at K and smiled for real, sticking the rabbit on top of my head for safe keeping. "I'll be fine with Mika and Tohma near by. Besides, it's my turn for a sleepover."

"If you're sure. . ."

"Are you coming or what?"

"I am," I said and wiggled free, bouncing over to where Mika was standing. I wasn't sure why he was being overly protective sure Mika was grumpy, but she wasn't like some of the crazed fans I've been exposed to over the years.

"See you later, K!" I said, waving. He was standing in the drive way, watching even as Mika reached over and yanked me inside.

She grumbled under her breath, making sure the door was locked and taking her shoes off before stepping into the rest of the house. It took me a moment to follow her lead, having to mentally remind myself that I was in Japan. She trailed cigarette smoke through the wide open rooms, dropping things in her wake. I stumbled on her gloves in the living room, her purse in front of the kitchen, her stockings right outside the master bedroom.

I stopped there, reaching up to tug on Kumagoro and wonder if I should knock and ask where I should go. But she opened the door, wrapped in a bathrobe and still smoking, eyeing me like I was being weird. Mika tugged Kumagoro from me and turned around, marching back into the bedroom. I followed her, not wanting to lose sight of my rabbit when Tohma wasn't around. There was no telling what would happen to him otherwise.

Mika put Kumagoro into a dresser drawer and pulled off her robe. I blinked and looked away, fidgeting with my jacket sleeves. Mika was wearing little more then a baby doll nightie and I could see through the fabric in places. It was enough to make me turn and run but I remembered that she was my best friend's wife and sort of safe for me to ogle. She turned and gave me a dark look.

"I'm not going to bite," she said. "I just don't want to be alone. It's up to you if you want to stay with me or not."

With that she crawled into bed, stubbing out her cigarette in an ashtray. I stood where I was for another moment or two and then I shrugged, stripping down to my boxers and climbing into bed next to her. She tugged the blankets around her shoulders and sighed, the bed shifting with her weight as she stretched.

"I never figured you wore boring stuff like that," she said. I felt my cheeks grow hot and I turned away from her. "Hey, it's cute just unexpected with the amount of tight clothing you wear."

"Uh, well, I don't wear anything under my stage clothing," I replied, thinking this was one of the weirdest conversations I've had in a while.

"Doesn't that chaff?"

I shrugged. "I never notice."

"Huh." She yawned and I felt one of her hands curling around my bicep. I held my breath but she didn't make any other move, her breathing evening out. It took me a while longer to relax enough to sleep.

Waking up was better this time around. For one, I wasn't being poked at by a pair of very sharp high heels. For another, there was no rude blond trying to get me cold or steal my blankets or shoot me. I was pressed between two very warm bodies, the one on my left a very familiar blond, and the one on my right his wife. For one long moment, I stared at Tohma's sleeping face, tracing the way sleep eased the tension from around his eyes. But a growing need made itself felt and I had to wiggle out from under the blanket without disturbing the other two in bed.

I found the bathroom and peered at myself in the mirror, noticing that the circles and puffiness of jetlag had finally faded. I flushed, washed my hands and went back into the bedroom, grabbing my jeans before attacking Tohma's closet and finding a vest that sort of fit me. Coming back out, I sat on the edge of the bed and attempted to tickle Tohma awake.

I was surprised that he didn't get up when I started moving about. He had always been a light sleeper, and usually having another person moving about a room made him wake up, though not in an agreeable mood. And even though he looked cute snuggled up in the blankets with a sleeping Mika curled against him, I was a little bored and wanted to find out exactly what he had planned for the day. He had to have something planned. He ran a company after all.

He slapped at my hands, cracking one eye open and yawning. I bent down and kissed him, his free hand tangling in my hair. Someone gasped, but we didn't pull apart until the kiss ended. Then a second pair of hands was in my hair and I was tugged down for a second kiss, but these lips were softer, plumper and had a faint taste of cigarettes. Ending the kiss, I licked my lips and glanced over at Tohma, who was staring at the two of us with bright green eyes.

"Good morning," I said, smiling as I tugged myself free.

"It certainly is," Mika said, her fingers wandering along Tohma's chest and curling over his shoulder. He looked startled so I placed a much more chaste kiss on his lips before I got out of there. As much as the idea of being with them was appealing, they needed just as much alone time as Tohma and I did.

I found the kitchen and the food and managed to cook up something that resembled coffee and pancakes. I ate, cleaned up the best I could and took a mug of coffee to the living room, sitting on the floor so I could look out the window. After a while, a scrubbed clean Tohma joined me, the light shining on his hair.

"I think I missed most of my appointments today," he said, laughing a little.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "They really didn't need me to be there. I think they just wanted to show off their boss to the other company."

"Oh," I said and leaned against him. He shifted his cup to his other hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, turning a little to look down at me. His eyebrows rose and he gave the vest a tug.

"Doesn't this belong to me?"

"I think so?"

He sighed and shook his head, smiling a little. "It looks good. You're certainly looking healthy."

I stuck my tongue out at him and finished my coffee. "Worry wart."

"Tohma, I just got off the phone with Noriko," Mika said as she came into the living room. Unlike us, she was wearing a bathrobe and showing off her long legs. I admit I ogled her until Tohma jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow.

"How is she doing?"

"Fine," she replied, and looked me over. She didn't join us on the floor, instead taking a seat on the couch and leaned over the back. "We're going to meet tomorrow at the NY club. That is, if you guys want to join us."

"Like old times?" Tohma asked, getting up. I sighed and stretched out, looking up at the ceiling.

"That's what she said. I would like to just hang out with her without you guys around but I bet she misses seeing everyone when you're not working."

"It sounds like fun. What do you think, Ryuichi?"

I chewed on my lower lip and got to my feet. "Sure. Might be interesting and I can escape whatever else K has planned for me."

"Poor Ryuichi, letting your manager rule you," Tohma teased, his eyes crinkling up in the corners.

"You have K for a manager for a week and then you can say all kinds of mean things." I stuck my tongue out and went to put my cup in the sink. He joined me a minute later, rinsing out his cup and setting it next to the sink.

"Sakano has spoilt me," Tohma said, shutting off the water.

"He mother hens you," I said, shaking out my bandana and wrapping it over my hair. "So are you going to give me the tour?"

"The tour?"

"Yup! I've been gone for so long I don't know all the hotspots any more!"

"If you insist."

"I do."

"Well then, I guess I have no choice but to cave into your demands."

I cheered and tried glomping him, but Tohma was far too fast for me. Reminding myself that I can catch him next time, I bounced in place, waiting as he went to talk to Mika and rescue Kumagoro from the place he had been staying this whole time. Once I assured myself that he was fine, Tohma lead the way to his car and the great big city beyond. He didn't drive like K that is, Tohma did not act like the road was just another excuse to see things blow up. He drove just to drive, steering the car around while pointing out anything that I probably didn't recognize right away. We went by the old school, a couple places that were once bars, and drove around the old neighborhood. And then we went to N-G, where he pointed out some of the improvements on the sound systems in a couple of the studios. I got to spy on Noriko trying to whip Bad Luck into shape, and then it was back to my apartment and work on those songs.

About halfway through the first phrase, I gave up and ordered out for food and spent the remainder of the day watching movies.


	5. track four

**Disclaimers:** The same as before.

**Author's note:** Here we go, another chapter. This one is a bit sketchy - a pretty much day-in-the-life slice with an added dose of some left over feelings and a splash of fanboy groping.

* * *

_track four_

I spent another boring day working on the songs. Well, I say working, but really, I was sitting around staring at the walls and wondering what I was doing in Tokyo if I was just going to stay inside and work. And it felt like work, not something exciting and new and different. Maybe that's why I really wasn't in the mood to work on the songs. It had become work.

Music shouldn't be about work. Sure, I supposed it could be work, but it never felt like it to me, especially if it was something I was enjoying. But even before I hit this stumbling block, I had been feeling a bit run down and tired. Maybe I should just put the work aside and doing some wandering on my own. It wasn't as if I was needed anywhere until later on tonight.

Thus decided, I headed out. Tokyo was awake and thumping along, salarymen mixed with schoolgirls, cosplayers and everyone else. I tied my hair back, shoved a baseball hat on top of my head and wore a pair of glasses for a disguise, mingling with them. It was amazing at how people could still recognize me after all these years, as if I just left the stage yesterday instead of three years ago. Then again, I did just that the other night for Bad Luck's debut.

Anyways, I went to a couple music stores and listened to some of the albums on display. I stopped at a noodle vender and had some noodles and a hot cup of tea, and spent some time at a neighboring bar where I got into a heated discussion over a game of Go. Around noon, I ended up at a karaoke bar and sang a few rounds before someone recognized my voice, and then I was chased around the place until I ducked on to a train.

The train took me uptown, where I spent a couple hours wandering along the main streets, peering at business fronts and spending time talking to a bunch of kids playing music and dancing. Then I was hungry so I found a pricy restaurant that wasn't going to let me in until I took off my disguise and beamed at them. The food was worth the hassle even though I really didn't need to eat as much as they were willing to give me. So I got a doggy bag of goodies before I left.

By the time six came around, I was standing outside of N-G, tired, carrying food and smiling pretty for the guy manning the front desk. He had to call up to Tohma's office before I was let through something which made me feel a bit irritated. I mean, seriously. I was Ryuichi Sakuma, not some star-struck kid looking for stardom.

I was in a mood when I finally reached Tohma's floor. Tohma was waiting for me at the doors and he took the bag of goodies from me, arching an eyebrow at my expression. Seeing his face, I tried calming down but it was no use. The whole day was just off to me.

"Thank you for the food, Ryuichi," he said, opening the container and digging in. "I forgotten how late it was and the kitchen staff has already left for the day."

"Tohma needs to take care of himself," I replied, flopping into a chair. "Tohma would get sick and I'll be really sad."

"I wouldn't want to see you sad, Ryuichi."

"It's not fun at all," I said, putting my feet on the chair and wrapping my arms around my knees. Tohma looked up from the papers he was working on, the worry line on his face turning into a different kind of frown.

"Ryuichi?"

I huffed and rested my chin on my knees. Funny thing was that I had a good time today. There was nothing to really make things crash so fast except that guy downstairs. Yet I was feeling just bad. That was another problem I had been noticing lately the sudden shifts in my mood when before I was usually just happy go lucky.

"Did the guard upset you?"

I heard the real concern in his voice and looked up. Tohma was reaching for the phone, his eyes and mouth hard. I dropped my feet to the floor and reached over, putting my hand on top of his.

"Let it go, Tohma. It's not the guy's fault."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded and tried smiling. It didn't seem to work, but at least he stopped trying to pick up the phone. I could tell that he was still upset, his eyes hard as he watched me. Then closing the file he was reading, he sat back in his chair, his hands resting neatly in his lap.

"Ryuichi, if something is bothering you, you need to tell me," he said, breaking the silence.

"I don't know what's bothering me," I replied, standing. I stretched and started wandering around his room, touching the few boring pictures on the walls, giving the potted plants a poke. I stopped in front of the only spot of bright color a glossy photograph of the three of us in bright stage gear, posing right before the Farewell Tour. Of course, no one knew at the time it was going to be our last tour, so the picture hadn't been in such high demands until after the last announcement.

I heard the rustling of papers and I almost expected Tohma going back to work. Instead, I could feel his body heat and smell his cologne. I looked up over my shoulder and he was there, his eyes dark and his face pale. He touched his forehead against mine.

"Don't lock me out."

"Did you ever think you did it to me first?" I replied, pulling away. Sighing at my outburst, I rubbed my forehead. "Saa, I'm tired. Can we just go meet up with everyone and talk about this later?"

He frowned; his face pulled in taunt lines before he closed his eyes and smiled his stranger's smile. "Sure. Just let me get out Kumagoro for you."

"Kumagoro's here?" I immediately dropped the child-mask into place.

"K left him here for you to pick up," Tohma replied, pulling the pink rabbit from his jacket and held Kumagoro out to me. I snatched the rabbit away from Tohma and hugged him close. I didn't realize that I left him behind, but that did explain why I was left wandering about without K showing up five minutes later to blow new holes in the walls.

Tohma pulled on his coat and took the takeout box of food and stuck it in his mini-fridge. Then locking papers in his desk, he turned off his laptop and turned out the lights, walking over to me and nodded towards the doorway. I shuffled out in front of him, peering around us as he stopped to lock the door and then take my elbow and steer me into the elevator. We didn't talk on the way down or on the way out the door. In the car, Tohma told me we were leaving early for the club, but I started humming so he fell silent, the skin around his eyes looking tight.

The NY club wasn't very full at that time of night. Tohma and I took seats at the bar, listening to the idle chatter around us. No one was paying much attention to us, which is strange since neither of us was in disguise and I had Kumagoro sitting out in plain sight on the bar. The bar tender was an old friend of ours that only smiled when we appeared and pour us both drinks. I took a sip of mine and sighed, letting myself relax.

"I think those songs are getting to me."

Tohma set his glass down. "Is it that hard to write in English?"

"It's Japanese that's hard," I said, tapping him lightly on the shoulder with Kumagoro. I set the rabbit down and picked up my glass, looking at the crazy ice and whiskey patterns. "Maybe I've lost it."

"You haven't. If you did you would have never got up on stage to sing the other night."

"Don't start that."

"Start what?"

"I am having a perfectly good sulk and you're trying to cheer me up, that's what."

"Well, you better stop trying to sulk because the ladies are here."

I looked up and over at the door just as Mika and Noriko walked in together with a tall guy and Shuichi. I made a face. Who exactly was that guy and why were those two tagging along with the girls? But of course I noticed the way he just seemed to freeze and stare at me, and then he was sliding up and putting on a smooth voice.

"It's nice to meet you, Sakuma-san. I'm your biggest fan."

Young young young and still strangely familiar. So I did what I normally did when meeting some star-struck kid at any hot spot. I played dumb.

"Did you have plastic surgery, Shuichi? It's really good!"

"Hell no."

"Ryuichi, this is Tatsuha, Mika's younger brother," Tohma told me. "He was at the wedding trying to climb up your leg and hug you."

"Really?" I looked again. Now that Tohma mentioned it, he did look like a younger Mika with dark hair. I chewed on Kumagoro's ear and added. "Oh! Now I remember! Sorry, Tatsuha."

"It's okay," the kid Tatsuha - said, smiling.

"I don't know about you guys, but I really need a drink," Mika said and suddenly there was a scramble as everyone tried ordering something to drink. Tohma and I looked at each other and moved away from the gang, and claimed a table for all of us. Of course, they soon joined us, Tohma and Mika sharing one side and the rest of us sitting wherever. Unfortunately, that arrangement had me sitting with Tatsuha.

Now don't get me wrong, he was a sweet kid. I just was tired of getting chased all the time by fanboys, especially ones that were still so young. Give him a couple years, then sure, I'd probably bed him for a lark, but since I actually knew his family that may not happen even if he was old enough.

Conversation drifted over a few topics as everyone got their drinks and settled down. The main one was about Shuichi and his big expectations for work. Noriko had been working with him and his guitarist for a while now and she felt they were something. Not really up to our standards yet, but they were something different. Maybe even something different enough to charm the next generation of hopefuls?

But then the talk took a totally different path, mainly about me and my plans in the near future. I mentioned going back to L.A. since I did my favor to Noriko. Tatsuha was hanging off of every word, even though he was trying hard not to be so noticeable. But then he had to start talking about the sun and surf being good for me, and I just did not want to listen to anymore fan gushes.

So it was a Kumagoro Miracle Beam to the chest for him. I probably could have told him straight out that the subject was closed, or I could have changed the subject myself, but I really wasn't in the mood for either strategy. I wanted to be in a happy mood but no one was helping me that much. Even when Tatsuha got all weird and started to faint and needed help did I feel like I could find a happy mood. All I knew was that he was using the chance to get in some touching while I managed to find an empty booth and shove him down on one of the cushions until his dizziness passed.

Of course he had to grab onto my hand and yank me down into the seat next to him. I spent the next several minutes with him pressing his face against my thigh while off in the distance, Tohma was yelling about something and Mika was yelling over him. It got quiet fast and I looked down, noticing the very suspicious way Tatsuha was pressed against his seat. I tried tugging my leg away but his grip got tighter so I leaned back and fumed to myself.

I liked fans. I like at how much they think they know about me. I like how they buy my stuff and were nice to me and always wanted to be there for me. I just did not like fans who were bordering on the edge of creepiness. It was creepy, being groped by someone not yet out of school. It was part of the fame, but it was a part I didn't like.

Luckily for my sanity what little I had of it K showed up. I don't know what he might have said to Tohma and Mika but they were trailing after him, Tohma grimacing while Mika nagged on about ruining her plans with Noriko. K managed to pry Tatsuha's death grip off of me, and I gratefully hid behind Tohma while Mika laid into her younger brother. At the double words of 'father' and 'temple' the kid sulked out of the bar, muttering under his breath about a next time.

K waited for him to be completely gone, before shoving Kumagoro at me and telling me that the record schedule had been upped by a week, so my vacation had been cut short. I wasn't sure if I should be thankful or not as he told me that he had already packed up my things and we had a flight to catch that night. But sticking Kumagoro on top of my head, I hugged Mika and Tohma before glomping Noriko and Shuichi. Then K had me out the door, into a cab and to the airport before I even finished my goodbyes.

Ticketed, stamped, and passported, I was secured in First Class with a warm blanket while Tokyo grew smaller behind me. As much as I enjoyed airplane rides, this one felt even lonelier than most. I wasn't sure why, but I couldn't fall asleep the entire trip back to L.A.


	6. track five

**Disclaimers**: Same as before. Such a broken record even.

**Author's notes: ** Some mild swearing and the blowing up of a building.

* * *

_track five_

L.A.'s smog had a nasty greenish tint to it that morning. Yawning, I wiggled down into my oversized jacket, letting the hat cover my eyes and messy hair as I trailed after K. People were running around the terminal, some in orderly lines, others hurrying from place to place, looking at ticket stubs and checking signs. It was completely different from the hush of Japan's airports that I had to stop and stare at the two kids hanging off their mother's arms and the guy with the earphones blaring in his ears and the businessman typing away on a batted laptop.

K appeared and grabbed me by the collar, frog-marching me through Customs and past the displays. I caught a glimpse of reporters and a couple thin model types before I was deposited in a red sports car. I rubbed the back of my neck, pouting, while K rushed around, commandeering luggage carriers and chasing away a few reporters before he jumped into the driver's seat and took off. I slouched down as far as the seatbelt would let me and tried to hang onto my hat.

We whipped in and out of traffic, K lighting up a smoke as we went along. The freeway merged into another one and then we were going down and around to a highway, that soon split into a regular street with some shiny tall office buildings and gleaming stores. I let go of my hat and took a deep breath, watching the women in their tiny dresses, men in their suits, kids running and playing like they did everywhere, and sighed.

"Is something the matter?"

"Huh?" I looked over at K, not really seeing his eyes because of the sunglasses he habitually wore. Despite the wild ride we just had in an open car, K's long blond hair wasn't even tangled.

"You sound depressed."

I thought about it for a minute as we crawled to a stop, resting my elbow on the armrest. Two pretty women in red walked by, both walking tiny poodles decked out in gemstones. The sky didn't look green since we had landed, and all I could see was a warm blue sky and bright people everywhere.

"Have you ever gone home?"

"Me?" K snorted, shaking his head. "I am home with the sun and the sand and the short dresses on the pretty women!"

"Ha ha, K," I said, looking away. "I meant going home to see your folks."

"Ryuichi, you didn't. . ."

"No. Like my old man would want to see me. Nah, I was just wondering if it always feels small."

"Maybe you should ask yourself that."

"How am I supposed to know if everyone feels it that way if no one tells me?"

"Because you are an artist."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Not a very good one right now."

He laughed. I stuck out my lower lip and wondered if I could get Kumagoro out to smack K with him before he shot me full of holes.

"Ryuichi, you're one of the best artists I've ever managed," he said, growing serious. "You understand other people's feelings more than those people ever could. If it feels small to you, imagine what it would feel to others. There's a reason why going back home never feels right."

I smacked him on the shoulder and grumbled at him under my breath. He didn't pay me any attention, driving into a parking garage and pulling into a spot marked as being reserved. I sat in my seat, arms crossed and pouting while he got out and made a few phone calls. Then he was back, pulling me out of the car by my sleeve.

"Do you think you can behave today?" he asked, straightening my long choker chain and tucking Kumagoro into my inner jacket pocket.

"Why?" I eyed him, feeling decidedly suspicious.

"Guess where we are!"

I looked around, frowning at the very familiar walls and the equally familiar elevator. I tugged my sunglasses down and eyed the parking spot sign, noting that it had K's real name written under the big word 'RESERVED'. I glanced up at the ceiling and then my sleepy brain remembered exactly where we were.

"Oh hell no! No way! I'm tired! I haven't slept! I gotta wax my arms!"

Admittedly, I was panicking just a little. K tried grabbing me, and I wiggled free from his grip, leaving Kumagoro and my jacket behind as I tried for the exit with K right at my heels. I ducked and rolled as something loud went off, reversing my direction and heading east. I heard a maniacal laugh, stopped and made myself as small as possible as another explosion hit the parking garage and several cars exploded. Getting up, I ran around a couple burning husks, and ducked between the legs of an office woman in a pencil skirt, gained my feet and kept on running. Spotting an opening, I skidded left, slid in between the closing doors and fell flat on my face.

"Uh, hello?"

I looked up and waved the peace sign at the two men in suits. "How's it hanging?"

"Was someone shooting at you?" the older man asked, blinking at me.

I shrugged and got up, dusting myself off. Faintly I heard some generic pop song play over and over in a loop and wondered if K was even now sawing away at the elevator's cord. I hit a bunch of random buttons, trying to get it to hurry up before K did something drastic like bungee jump his way down with guns blazing or sending in the Marines. The elevator dinged and I was out, tearing past a couple harmless office workers and ducking into a room. Slamming the doors shut I leaned against them, panting heavily.

I was not ready to go into the studio and record something. I didn't have anything. No song, no lyrics and definitely no idea why I was acting this way. I just wanted to be left alone while I tried figuring out what was wrong with me, but no, K was determined to get the tracks done. As if I could just turn on my lyric writing with a gunshot or something.

"Ah, Mr. Ryuichi Sakuma is it?"

I blinked at the door in front of me. I wrapped the words in my head and realized just who was talking to me. I slowly turned around, stuck my hand in my hair and laughed. Sort of. "H-hi!"

Phil Loveless was the head CEO of my American label's L.A. office. He ran the place with an iron fist and he knew each and every recording artist under him by appearance alone. He did not listen to the music that was a task he left in the hands of producers and managers. He also looked like a kid trying to play dress-up in his father's business suits, even though I knew he was about ten years older than me. He'd probably look like a kid even when he loses all his teeth and hair and was in a nursing home.

The room I ducked in was a boardroom. Not only was Mr. Loveless there, so were several other members of the board of directors, all of them looking torn between shock and amusement at my appearance. It really did not help my image that I was a bit messy from all that running around and a twelve hour plan trip.

"I'm sorry for barging in like this," I said, inching towards the doorknob and possible freedom.

"It's quite fine," Mr. Loveless said, folding his hands together and smiled. I suppose it was suppose to look friendly, but I was used to Tohma's stranger smiles and knew it was anything but. "I was just telling these fine people about our interests in talents from overseas."

Swallowing, I froze. Think, Ryuichi, think. What would I do if Tohma gave me this kind of look while talking in front of a bunch of strange people that know next to nothing about me? And nothing pervy either, gee thanks imagination.

"He's from overseas?" one of the women asked him, looking me over. "Isn't he a little young for our label?"

Mr. Loveless raised an eyebrow, and I stared at the woman like she was a plastic snake that fell into my bento. And she was plastic too, with her weird nose and cheekbones not matching the set of her eyes and her too puffy lips. All that plastic must had something to do with her talking around me like I wasn't there or like I was dumb. Fine then, I'll play rock god to the idiots and see if she'll melt or just explode.

"I'm certainly younger than you are," I replied, flipping my hair back and strutting over to the long table. Sitting on the edge, I arched an eyebrow and smiled slowly. "Maybe by about thirty years. . . You know, word to the wise, but if you want to look young, you need to stop drinking and getting injections. All it does is make you look like the blowfish they served me the other night - puffy and not really that good."

"Miss Talbert, I would like you to meet Ryuichi Sakuma. He is one of our more talented solo artists," Mr. Loveless said to her, his tone telling me that I guessed right and that he really did not like the woman. "I believe you were talking about the hit _'In the Silence'_? He is the vocalist and lyricist behind that piece, as well as several others that you were telling me I needed to copy so we can sell more records."

She was turning an interesting shade of molting red. I leaned forward and looked down the front of her barely buttoned shirt, raising both eyebrows, and blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Hey, they're fakes too! Lame."

The doors burst inwards. Choking on smoke, I fell over, narrowly missing getting slapped by that Talbert woman as I tried grabbing on to her to keep from meeting the floor. Standing in the ruins of the door, K swung his bazooka up and grinned wide.

"There you are, Ryuichi!"

"Oh, shit!" I hit the floor and tried scrambling out the other end of the table, but K had a grip on my leg and managed to drag me out, yelling and screaming about dirty prevy fake blondes. K just laughed, swinging me over his shoulder and ignoring my flailing.

"I'm sorry about the damages, boss," he said, swatting me on the head. I yelped and tried to gnaw his ear off.

"That's quite all right, K," Mr. Loveless replied, looking as if having his board rooms blown up was a normal thing. "I'll just have to keep a percentage of the next album to pay for it."

"Fine by me! Now if you'll excuse us, ladies and gentlemen, I have a singer to escort to his recording session."

Still struggling to get free, I was carried on K's shoulder all the way to the recording studios and tossed into a free one. I scrambled to my feet, stuck out my tongue and turned my back on the rest of the room. Of course, the only other person in the room besides me was K, who planted his big American ass in front of the door and started making calls on his cellphone. I tossed Kumagoro at him and flopped down, deciding to make a huge pout in my corner until he got up and then I was leaving.

I wasn't ready to sing after all.

Obviously, he knew the right buttons to push for me to sing. He turned his phone off and sat still guarding the door like he knew what was going on in my mind, someone started playing music. And not just any music, but the tracks for the three songs I was having the hardest time trying to find the right words too. I looked up, listening to how the sound had gained a deeper harmony, the heavier guitar adding a bigger punch.

"Wow."

"Do you think you can write something to that?"

"It sounds better," I replied, already hearing a melody. "What did you do to get it like this?"

"I told them that the tracks sounded too generic and played one of your old classics."

"Yeah? Well, at least they aren't copying it."

K snorted and tossed my sketchpad at me, throwing a crayon as an afterthought. "Okay, flyboy, get writing!"

"I still say you blonds are evil to me," I grumbled under my breath, picking them up and started scribbling. K left once I started working, only showing up a half an hour later with some takeout and coffee, both of which I inhaled without actually tasting either. A half hour of busy scribbling, and I had the songs, and K had gathered a crew together to record the lyrics in place.

Just because I had lyrics now did not mean that I was free by the end of that night. No, I still had to go over the songs again and again, making sure they all fitted together and made some coherent sense when played one after another. We re-recorded a couple songs, and I had to redo a whole list of lyrics and then listen to the mixers as they zapped out all the imperfections like distortions and vibrations. We discussed how to market the finished product I vetoed the whole tour idea because it felt like old news - and went to the video crew for a couple songs. We discussed release dates and possible radio-friendly singles. We had too much takeout and we celebrated the epic scandal of Miss Talbert getting in a fight with another fake blonde and losing her hair extensions in the ensuing catfight. We went to a few premier parties and I got to pose for a couple steamy pictures with K's wife Judy.

All said and done, it was three months later that I fell back on my bed in my L.A. penthouse and thought about how Shuichi was doing with N-G. I hadn't heard from anyone but Noriko since I got back and that was a short voice mail thanking me for coming to Japan just to do a favor for her. I thought about calling her, but after glancing at the time, I decided that she could wait. I really didn't want to wake her up in the middle of the night when she had a kid to get ready for school and a husband to take care of. But Tohma, on the other hand, was too easy to call up. He would be up and already heading for work, if he hadn't stayed the night like he usually did when launching a new group.

After the third ring, he picked up. "Seguchi here."

"Hey Tohma, it's me," I said, stretching out and looking up at the ceiling. "How are you?"

"Ryu," he replied, and I could hear the real smile in his voice. "I'm well. How are you?"

"Oh, wrung out and tired." I shrugged and scratched my stomach. I frowned, feeling bone. I couldn't remember when I last ate something that wasn't an energy bar. "How is Mika?"

"She is well. I take it you're done with recording?"

"Done, sealed and shipped out last night. K blew up half the building so I won't see much in the first month or two, but I think it should do okay."

"Oh?"

"It's got teeth to it." I rolled onto my stomach and hugged a pillow, smiling a little. "K made the session artists listen to some old Grasper and they got the idea of how hard and fast I like it. The first single's going to have the same kind of feeling as _'Be There'_ did."

"Aa, then you should actually have a real hit there," Tohma replied, and I heard a slight creak of old springs. "_'Be There'_ was voted as the top fan favorite on the _Music Fan_ website."

"Awesome." I wiggled around to find a better position and decided that my pillow was too lumpy. "Who got second place?"

"_'Sweet Little Candy'_."

"That was one of ours too."

Tohma laughed and I could almost see him leaning in his chair, the street lamps reflecting in his light hair and his mouth curving in his real smile. "We had three out of the top ten fan favorites, and the third one was number five."

"Which one?"

"_'Subaru_."

I laughed. I should have known. I did run through that old hit with Bad Luck on stage. But thinking of Bad Luck, I had to find out how well they were doing.

"Did anything by Shuichi hit the list?"

"_'No Style'_ was sitting at number seven," Tohma said, an odd sort of reservation creeping into his voice.

I sat up, frowning at the phone. "Tohma? Is something wrong?"

He sighed softly, and my hand tightened around my phone. Something wasn't right. What happened to Shuichi?

"We had an incident involving Bad Luck's rival band ASK," Tohma said, and I could almost taste the tension in his voice. I wished we had those phones where a person could see as well as talk to each other, so I could know if Tohma was putting on his stranger's face over this. "Shuichi was harmed because of his better talent and his attachment to Eiri."

"Wait, he's seeing your brother-in-law and someone attacked him for it?" What the hell had happened in Tokyo while I was busy with music?

"That and because of his singing ability. He is not close to your level, but he is far superior than most. If only he was able to harness that ability."

"Tohma." I stopped him before he was able to distract me with some other gossip. "Tell me what happened."

So he did in short brutal words that did nothing to ease my worries. He also told me about Eiri's reaction to the attack, and the fall out concerning his engagement. After Tohma and I ended our call, I sat in my apartment for a long minute, looking down at the glowing screen on my cellphone. I flipped through numbers and found K's number. I hit speed dial, and left him a message in his voice mail. Then kicking off my covers I went to take a shower and pack. I was heading back to Japan for good this time.


	7. track six

**Disclaimers:** Same as before. No money, no sue.

**Author's notes:** Heavy yaoi in here! Tohma and Ryuichi have sex! Enjoy.

* * *

_track six_

I called Tohma during a stop over to tell him I was coming. K had texted me during the flight but I didn't read the message. I had a pretty good idea what it said anyways. After all, I had just taken off before we even sat down to look at the contracts and see if I wanted to go another round as a signed musician or just hit the club scenes for a while. K was supposed to be my manager, but I was treating him horribly by not mentioning my decision until after I had left.

Of course, I had done it on purpose. I wanted to see Tohma without K there; I wanted to talk to my friend without any prying ears about. K was a good man, a good manager, but still he was another person and this was just something I really shouldn't share with anyone. Tohma had shared it with me because I had seen the aftermath, and I wasn't about to start telling people what had happened six years ago in New York.

The plane was delayed during some heavy rain so I was late getting in to the airport. I was a little worried that Tohma would have left or that he got the time wrong and was waiting for me for too long. But I really shouldn't have worried. Tohma was there, waiting off to one side of the traffic, his head down as if in deep thought. Seeing my chance, I rushed forward to glomp him.

"Whoa, whoa! Hold on!"

I blinked for a moment and then hit the side of my head, laughing a little at myself. "Oops, sorry, Tohma. I forgot. We're in Japan now."

"Oh, no worries," he replied, smiling his real smile. "Given where you've just been, I'm sure you have a lot of new habits. I don't mind. Besides, I'm too thrilled to care."

I looked up at him, shoving my sunglasses back. His smile brightened, and he led the way through the airport, still talking.

"It has been a long time since we've seen each other, Ryuichi."

I chewed on my lower lip, wanting to grab his hand, but we were in Japan and I didn't want people to stare again. That was one of the things I really didn't care about my homeland everyone was a touch too conservative for my liking. It was probably why I used the child mask a lot more while here.

Pouting, I grabbed his arm anyways and used my most childish voice ever. "Why's To-chan so mean to me?"

"Ryuichi, please," he hissed, tugging his arm away. I laughed and started skipping, singing something completely random and totally off-key. Some of the staring was going away, people finding something more interesting than a child and some guy.

Tohma caught up to me, looking slightly ruffled. I slowed down and stopped skipping, deciding to walk like a normal person. I glanced over at him, noticing that he had a slight smile on his face. At least it was a real one I knew that if he gave me a fake one, I would have started acting up again.

"So, why did you rush back home?"

I thought it over for a moment and then shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, you didn't sound so good and I thought you've missed me."

"I've talked to Mister K," he said, stopping at the exit. He looked straight at me, frowning. "I don't understand, Ryuichi. Why did you leave L.A. so fast? I thought you liked it there."

Oh. That was something I really did not want to talk about. Not the reason why I left so fast, but what I told K over the voice mail. I had been nice and everything, but it may have sounded weird even for me.

"Maybe he got it wrong?" I said, shuffling around him and walking out the door. I heard him sigh as he caught up to me and took me by the elbow. He led me over to a waiting car, where a guy in a uniform was holding the door open for us. I sat down and moved over, Tohma following me. The door was closed and I could feel the air twist and hear the thump of my suitcase being put in the trunk.

"I think you have a very good reason why you've decided to quit singing," Tohma said.

I turned, taking off my sunglasses and sitting them on top of my head. Tohma looked tired and strung out and I just wanted to tangle my fingers in his hair and pull him against me. I resisted the urge, instead tangling my fingers with each other.

"It has become work."

I felt more than saw Tohma's questioning eyebrow. I looked down at my lap and my tangled fingers, not sure how to explain that simple sentence. But then the driver got in the car and we were heading off into Tokyo, the chance for an explanation gone for the moment.

"I haven't told Noriko or Mika you're here yet," Tohma said, speaking about mundane matters since there was an extra pair of ears nearby. I thought we could surprise them later on today if you feel up to it, of course. I know how hard jetlag effects you."

"How about we just get together for dinner?" I said, leaning back in my seat. "Would that work?"

"I'll have to call Noriko and Mika, but sure, we can do that."

I smiled and leaned back, taking Kumagoro out of my pocket to chew on. We weren't going to Tohma's place or my place, but to N-G, which I thought was a little odd, but I suppose Tohma was busy for the day. I looked over at him, noticing the way he was chewing on his lower lip and lines marked the area between his eyes. I leaned over and pressed my finger against that spot, his eyes widening as he looked back at me.

"You're worrying too much," I said quietly, keeping my voice low so the guy driving couldn't hear us.

"Can you blame me?"

"Tell me?"

He nodded slightly, grabbing my hand and giving me a playful little push. "Please, Ryuichi, we are in a moving car."

"Fine, but you are so getting a Kumagoro Beam when we stop," I said, flopping down in my seat and sticking my tongue out at him.

Tohma laughed, and messed up my hair. I didn't care since it was a real laugh instead of one of his stranger laughs. The rest of the ride was a lot better feeling, even if it was still quiet. The driver took us to the parking lot under N-G and unloaded the suitcase before driving away to park. Tohma and I took an elevator up to the top floor where his office was. I tossed the suitcase on the couch and bounced over to the set up in the corner, fingers itching to poke at all the shiny gadgets of a professional keyboardist's kit.

"Please don't touch that, Ryuichi," Tohma said, closing the door with a soft click and then turning the lock.

Oh right. It was time to talk now, wasn't it? I turned away from the keyboard and computers and took a seat on top of Tohma's desk, leaning back on my hands. "So, I guess you need real answers," I said.

"I never heard you call singing work, even when we had that one producer in the early days."

"You mean that guy who looked like a porcupine hit him in the face?" He nodded and I shuddered, remembering at how weird the guy's mustache was and how he tried to sell us as being a gay band and kept on prodding us to get rid of Noriko. "It wasn't. I mean it never felt that way before. Is that why you look so sad, Tohma?"

"No, that is, I don't think so," he said, sitting down next to me. Strong piano-playing hands gripped my shoulders, tugging me closer. I sighed and leaned against Tohma, closing my eyes. "I just don't want to see you let go of something that keeps you happy."

"It can't keep me happy if it takes too much work."

"Then what will?"

I frowned and thought about it now that I was actually able to do so. What would keep me happy? Well, for the longest time, it had been the music. Everything had music after all, and I could see it and hear it, from the simplest of words to the canopy of screeches and drawn out sighs. Music in the rain, music in the cries, music in the pain, and music as someone dies. And hearing a tune in my head, I was already humming it, my face buried against Tohma's neck.

His breath hitched and he sat stiffly upright, my lips brushing his skin with the words and the tune and I think he shuddered, his hands twisting in the hair at my neck. He shifted, and I moved back, tilting just enough for warm lips to brush mine, a wet tongue touching mine. Did he know what he could do to me? Or did I do the same to him? Did it matter which one of us was _gasping straining tasting_ the other first, the music a bright thread between us?

I was on the desk, spread out and straining, still singing and gasping, his fingers stroking over my bared skin, his teeth tugging on the chain around my neck. Somewhere I heard the beep of a disconnected phone, but it wasn't important, never important as feeling his mouth hot against me, sucking on my chest, leaving tiny wet rings over my skin. His teeth scraped against my too thin sides, mouthing ribs that were almost visible, and his hands stilling my hips.

Where did this need come from? It wasn't the tune, wasn't the sudden melody that we were sharing, his lighter voice counter weaving against mine, punctuated by soft gasps and whispered moans. Was it something more? What had happened since the last time I was here? Tohma was trembling as he hooked his arm under my right leg, pushing it up and away, his body shifting flushed against mine. I tugged at his shoulders, his shirt half hanging off, his tie gone, his eyes huge and dark against his flushed cheeks. I leaned up, feeling him strain, feeling the sweat on his chest, his thighs, and tasting his cologne on my tongue as I traced the edge of his jaw. So soft. I dug my fingers and pulled him down hard, closing my eyes against the sharpness spreading through me.

"Sorry," he whispered even as I dug the heel of my foot against the small of his back. Fingers stroke my hip and I hissed through my teeth, adding the word to the others, adding more to the melody.

He drew back, letting my leg go and pressing his hand against the solid wood of the desk, his breathing harsh and his eyes closed. I scratched along his back, squeezed and his breath broke, a sharp sob escaping his mouth. He pressed his lips against my temple and rolled his hips slowly, every inch heat and silk and hardness spreading me wide. Sharpness spiking with a delicious heat, I arched up, accepting it, him, this need.

"Don't. . . let go."

He choked on a laugh, raising his head and looking down at me. He pressed in deep and my breath caught, the music dying on my lips forgotten.

"I can't," he replied, his lips finding mine.

Tongues tangled, and I let go, my hands scrambling for something safe to hold on, something not him. Papers cracked under my fingers and something hit the floor with a loud crash and he pressed his entire weight down, his hands finding mine and stilling them. I threw my head back, the notes straining, the music growing in my head again, pounding in my chest. He was moving faster, sliding and twisting with each note, each breath on my neck another harmony, another accent. It was building in my head, in my chest and I squeezed his fingers, squeezed him hard as it filled me, my body arching up against his frantic thrusts.

He was crying, short soft sobs, his eyes closed and his mouth so hot against my neck. He lost all rhythm, all control, and his body moving the way it wanted to. The harmonies dissolving into brief staccatos of movement, heat and hardness growing and stilling before it all fell apart, his cry muffled against my skin. I squeezed his fingers, feeling the warmth spreading through me, the music descending to a soft warming glow. He loosened his grip on my hands, moving down my sides and I held him close, stroking his soft hair.

I knew he was crying but I didn't care. In many ways, Tohma only could fall apart when he was like this, sweating and relaxed in a chaotic afterglow. All his barriers were down and he was again crying for something that never really was his fault. I whispered words, pulling them out of the air and pinning them to the melody, tracing circles over his shoulders and neck. He calmed after a while, pushing himself upright, his eyes red.

"We. . ." he stopped, and winced, and I realized that I must have bit him on the neck. He brushed his lips against mine and started again, "We really need to write that song down."

"We've got equipment right over there," I said, laying where I was, not wanting to get up and accept the pain I know was waiting for me. I always bruised easily, but this time had been frantic and needy and so unlike our usual bouts that I knew I was going to be limping for a while.

"Mm," Tohma replied, pulling away slowly. "We need to clean up first."

"Bathroom?"

"This is an executive suite," he replied, finally smiling. It was a tired, sore smile but it was still open and honest and I leaned up to lick the corner of his mouth.

"Let's share."

He stood up, pulling completely away and I shivered at the suddenly cold air. It took me a few attempts to stand up myself, my knees really not in the mood to support me that well. Tohma hooked his arms around my waist, and I wobbled with him across the floor to the well-appointed bathroom. There we stripped off what was left of our clothes and he turned on the shower, letting the water steam before leading me under the spray. We washed off the sweat and semen and tears, my fingers finding scratches and bruises a plenty on my skin.

"Do you still have that song?"

I fingered a thumbprint on my hipbone and nodded. The melody and words were still bright in my head, and I could feel the same spreading heat and light in me as before. Tohma leaned down, his lips open against mine.

"Good."

We tumbled out of the shower, dried off and threw some clean clothing on. He turned on his synthesizer, booted up the computers and we went to work. This time, there was only play, only a bright shining moment of music drowning out the rest of the world.


	8. track seven

_track seven_

I was definitely limping the next day, something K made a point to tell me the moment he threw open Tohma's office door. Tohma was sitting behind his desk, unruffled in his feathery coat and leopard print shirt, covered head to foot in leather and silk. I was in my usual jeans and oversized shirt, stretched out on the floor drawing, but when K came in yelling, I had jumped to my feet and tried hiding behind Tohma.

It didn't work. It never worked. Somehow, K could spot me in a room filled with look-alikes. I blamed Kumagoro. After all, K did put a tracking device in the bunny just so he could find me when my mind went wandering. Why my body insisted on going with my mind was another matter, but anyways, Kumagoro's tracking device was handy. Most times. I think.

Though I didn't think it was this time. Tohma and K were talking and I was ignoring them, looking Kumagoro over for a seam that might lead me to finding the evil tracking device and getting rid of it. I certainly wasn't paying attention even though they had said my name a couple times and were waiting for me to say something back. Finally K smacked me on the head, making me drop Kumagoro and look up at them.

"Huh?"

Tohma sighed, his smile one of fondness and almost real. "We were just asking you if you would like to do a few shows while you're figuring out where to go next."

"A few shows?" I scratched my head and frowned, looking over at K who looked like he wanted to say something else. "Like music shows?"

"I was thinking that you could use the exposure," Tohma replied.

I made a face, picking up Kumagoro and gnawing on his ear. Oh boy, that meant they had more then music shows in mind when they talk that way. I really didn't want to go do some lame interviews and take pictures all day long.

"Your American label have contacted us about the possibility of making your last album an international one, but of course they need my approval as well."

I blinked and looked at K. My manager was nodding slowly.

"It's true," he said. XMR e-Board had taken a deeper look into Grasper history and decided to capitalize on it."

"So, N-G will be printing the album out in a limited press," Tohma added, glancing over at K. "We will receive a percentage for it and we can work off the stir it might make among the core Grasper fan base."

"Then you guys will sell a greatest hits album or something?" I asked, finding the business talk boring and trying to figure out where they were going with all this stuff.

"It may happen," Tohma said.

I shot him a dirty look. Tohma raised an eyebrow, his smile becoming small and tight and rather smug. I glanced over at his keyboard setup and remembered that song we put together, the beat suddenly filling my head.

"Evil blonds and their evil plans and their evilness," I muttered, flopping over onto my back. "Fine, fine, whip up a couple shows and photo shoots. I might as well do something instead of drive all of you mad."

Tohma and K exchanged nods and they started hashing out whom to call for what. After listening for a few moments, I tuned them out, instead crawling back to my sketchpad and crayons. I was in the middle of drawing a huge dinosaur chewing on cars and it would be rude to not finish the drawing. A few minutes later, K was squatting down next to me, looking at my drawing like it was a code to find the Holy Grail.

"Are you all right, Ryuichi?"

I looked up at him, frowning a little. "I'm fine," I replied, going back trying to make a perfect wheel for the car. "Why?"

"You look tired."

"Jetlag," was my answer, followed by bopping him on the head with Kumagoro.

He frowned down at me for a few more minutes and then shook his head. I added some glittery purple specks to the dinosaur and made some fire while waiting for his next big announcement. It didn't take him long.

"You didn't go home last night."

"I was here with Tohma catching up on all the gossip."

"Well then." The American stood up and reached down, yanking me to my feet and spilling crayons all over the place. "Let's get you home and into a decent bed. You'll feel much better after a nap."

"What? K!"

I flailed, but of course it didn't stop him from shoving Kumagoro into my arms and grabbing my suitcase. I pouted at Tohma who was trying to hide the laughter in his eyes and hung there as K carried me out the door and down the hall. He ignored a couple 'Good Mornings' tossed his way, continued holding me like another piece of luggage on the elevator ride down to the garage, and only sat me down when we reach a dark blue company car. I stomped my foot, turned around to go back upstairs but then I heard a sharp click that echoed in the garage.

Turning slowly, I looked down the barrel of his favorite .44 Magnum, his finger on the trigger and a really dark look in his eyes. Now, I didn't think K would actually shoot me, but I knew he would shoot everything else, and not wanting to see Tohma's building get turned into a firing range, I sighed and got in the car. Immediately, K was his smiling sunny self.

"Good boy!"

"Did anyone tell you you're a sadistic bastard?" I asked, slumping in my seat. The car shifted as he tossed the suitcase in the back seat and got in.

"All the time," he quipped, adjusting the seat and mirrors to fit his height. "Especially when I get out the whips and chains."

"Too much information, K," I said, making a face.

He laughed and pulled out into traffic. I liked K, I really did. He was a fun guy to be around when he wasn't blowing things up or trying to mother me all the time. But this was just too much after last night. I wanted to stay near Tohma and try to figure out what had happened with everyone. I wanted to not let go of him because I was afraid he was going to fall. Something was building and I didn't like it.

"Don't, Ryuichi."

"Huh?" I looked over at him. K had his serious face on, his eyes fixed on the road as he weaved through morning traffic.

"Let Tohma work this out by himself. Don't kill yourself over something that you can't control."

"I didn't know I was that transparent."

"Oh no, I've just been your manager over the past three years. I don't know anything about you!" He let go of the steering wheel and held his hands out, shaking his head to the side.

I stuck my tongue out at him and turned away. Like I needed to hear advice from a gun toting American. I knew exactly what I was doing with Tohma. I had known him since school and I knew how to read his body if not his words. No, I knew that letting Tohma work this out alone could possibly be worse than if I stayed there for him. He had the tendency to take the entire burden on himself instead of asking for help.

We got to my place in little under an hour, K actually obeying some of the speeding limits for once. He frog marched me up to my apartment and tossed me into my bedroom, telling me to get some rest before disappearing down the hall to the kitchen. I huffed at the treatment and rooted around for something soft to wear, settling on a faded tank top and some fleece flannels before shuffling off to see what he was doing.

He was cooking. I stood in the kitchen's doorway watching the blond as he rooted through the cupboards and dumped stuff into two steaming pans. I didn't even know I had half of the stuff that he was tossing together unless he actually had someone stock my kitchen before I came here, which was a pretty neat thing that managers did to keep their stars happy. It didn't keep me as happy as most though since I couldn't remember a time when I had a real meal, and the smells of cooking food were making me feel dizzy.

"I told you to go lay down," K said over his shoulder. I bit down on my lower lip and nodded, feeling my stomach drop and my insides churn. He softened his tone, smiling a little. "It'll be ready in a couple more hours, so you should be hungry by then."

I decided to do what he asked, after first making my way to the bathroom and hacking up the bile in my throat. Running a cold washcloth over my face, I looked in the mirror, seeing an old sickly guy with messy hair and lines taunt around his eyes and mouth. His cheekbones were far too stark, and his eyes were feverish against the dark circles around them. I frowned and turned away. Sleep might restore some of my looks, but I knew that soon, there would be no stopping the decay.

I dug out Kumagoro from my pile of clothing and got into bed with him, putting the rabbit on the pillow next to me, although he often would wander away at night and sometimes end up over by the TV or on the chest of drawers. Pulling the covers over my head, I practiced some deep breathing to calm my stomach down and tried think of something other than what kind of mess K was making in the other room. I didn't really sleep, but I did doze off a little, the unhappy gurgling of my stomach settling down. Stretching out, I looked over at the clock and decided that I had enough of a nap and went to see what K was doing.

"Perfect timing," the blond said, bent over something steaming on top of the stove. Gone were the two pans he was cooking things in earlier instead he had a long deep pan, and a knife. He used it to point at the cupboards. "Grab a couple plates and bring them over."

"What did you make?" It smelt a bit odd garlic and tomatoes and something else were the chief ingredients I could pick out, but it wasnt familiar. I took down a couple plates and went over to him, making a face at the mess bubbling in the pan.

"Lasagna!"

I stared. The closest thing to lasagna I've seen wasn't as violently red, and it didn't have thick layers of melted gooeyness that stuck to the knife as he cut a couple squares out. He used it to shovel some onto each plate, tugging at the gooey stuff to get it to break and then shoved one of the plates at me.

"Dig in, Ryuichi."

"What is it?" I asked again, staring at the plate and the strange red dripping sauce and wobbly gooeyness and the white edge of something thick.

"I told you before." K had cut himself a bigger piece and was now setting his plate on the small table and going back for silverware. He seemed delighted that there were a number of Western styled utensils in the drawers. "Sit down and eat before it gets cold!"

Still thinking that he was trying to kill me, I sat. I picked up my fork and stabbed at the food a couple of times, expecting to see it move or something weird like that. "K. . ."

"Tomato meat sauce and cheese layered between pasta, Ryuichi," he said, leaning on his hand, his fork poised to attack his own plate. "It's filling and it should help in putting some weight on those bones of yours."

I dropped my fork. Suddenly, my stomach was churning again.

"At least try a bite," K said, and he sounded almost sad. "If you can't eat it, I will give you some soup instead. But Ryuichi, you've lost too much weight."

He didn't add 'again' even if he remembered how wasted I was when I first made the move overseas. It took me so long to return to a healthy weight, even if it was a little on the thin side. I didn't do drugs or take a lot of pills, and while I did drink it was far less than what people expected from a rock star. So really, I had nothing to blame me being too thin than my own lack of hunger.

I picked up my fork, took a small piece and chewed on it slowly. The weird hollow feeling of my stomach changed into a growling need for food, though the edges were a bit wobbly. I swallowed and tried another bite, feeling the wobbliness fade as I ate slowly and took long moments between bites. It made K happy enough, and he didn't press me to have another piece even though he had three big pieces of his own. The leftovers were wrapped up and put away in the fridge and I noticed that he gotten a lot of small, individual wrapped fruits and veggies and drinks stuff that I could easy grab on the way out the door or chew on while working.

"Okay!" he said, pulling out a planner and tossing it at me. "We've got a few things lined up for the next couple of days."

I opened the book and stared at the crammed notes in today's spot. "A few?"

"You're still popular, babe," he replied, grinning. "I didn't even have to pull strings for people wanting a piece of you."

"Bad mental image," I said, making a face and handing the planner back. I really wasn't that interested in the PR schedule when there was nothing to really sell. "I guess you better lead the way, oh fearless manager."

He folded his arms across his chest and smiled, looking up and down at me. I scratched my head, wondering what the heck was wrong with him. I didn't have to wait for long since he leaned forward and gave my sleeping pants a tug.

"Are you sure that you want people to see you in these?"

I looked down. Bright blue fuzzy flannels were nice and warm to wear, but they really did not say 'rock star'. Especially bright blue fuzzy flannels with tiny bunnies and ducks dancing across them. I felt my cheeks heat up and I ran off to my room, changing into a stretched to perfection yellow sweater and a pair of jeans with a hole in the left knee. Sunglasses and baseball cap, and Kumagoro completed my look and I was following K out the door. He handed me a piece of mint gum and I chewed away, humming a little as we got into the car and drove off to the first of many interviews.

The next few days past like that. K would show up in the morning and make sure that I had a large breakfast American style, and then we went off to do interviews and public appearances and other stuff that I had to have a part in. I found out that I actually had a vote in a couple N-G matters and sat a couple times on the board just to get a feel for it. I spent a couple hours with Tohma listening to the stuff being worked on by Bad Luck and somehow we created another song together. I visited Noriko and hung out with her and her daughter and then Noriko and I managed to talk Tohma into going out drinking with us.

So a month passed and I was getting back into shape, even if I really wanted to go hide somewhere for a day. Not that I didn't like all the posing and preening I was a showman after all but I just felt like there was too much of it going on for being the front man of a band that split three years ago. So I told Tohma as I laid on his floor, coloring a big purple butterfly with guns over his nice carpet.

"You're bored?" he said, looking up from his papers.

"I guess so," I replied, adding a few more explosions to the drawing. "Kumagoro and I like talking to peoples but we can't do it all the time. It makes our heads hurt."

"Oh. Well, we really don't want that," he said, closing the file and setting it aside. He opened a drawer and took out a thick book, opening it up in the middle and running his finger down the page. "What if I was to tell Kumagoro that you two don't have any where to be tomorrow?"

I chewed on Kumagoro's ear. "He would say that he wants to do something fun with his friends."

"I would like that but I have a meeting with XMR and Noriko has to finish Bad Luck's album."

Bad Luck again. I made a face and hugged Kumagoro tight. I wasn't sure if I liked Bad Luck any more. "They need to stop hogging Noriko all the time."

"I'm working on that."

I huffed a little, still put out about it. It would have been nice if the three of us could just hang out without any work in the way. Out of all of us, I was the one with no real obligations, and it really sucked.

"I could ask K. . ."

"No, he's been following me too much as it is." I liked K but still a guy got tired of having a big blond shadow that shot anything that came near him. I couldn't even get on a dance floor without him scaring everyone away.

"Hm, well, there is Tatsuha."

"Who?" I rolled onto my back and stuck my feet up in the air, looking over at Tohma. He was chewing on his lower lip, frowning down at his address book.

"Mika's younger brother," Tohma replied. "He's young but responsible. The only problem is that he's a fan."

That made it click together. "Eiri's look-a-like?"

Tohma laughed slightly. "Yes, that's him. I can't guarantee he won't try to molest you, but I do know he will make sure you're not mobbed by fans. He. . . wouldn't want to share."

I thought about it. The one thing I hated about stardom was I couldn't hang out like a normal person. I couldn't just go out and buy a hotdog without first wearing something to disguise myself. Even if I wanted to be surrounded by bodyguards all the time, I still would cause a scene and start trouble by appearing among normal people. If there was a way to get around it, I was all ears.

"Alright, but if he starts grabbing me, I am so telling K."


	9. track eight

**Author's notes:** So here we are, at that one point in time where Ryu and Tatsuha end up together at the zoo and then Ryu tells Shuichi to get lost. Parts of this comes from the manga.

* * *

_track eight_

Tatsuha was more than willing to drop everything to hang out with me. Tatsuha was more than eager to find a way to keep me from getting swamped by fans. Tatsuha was not exactly what I expected given his less than stellar first impression several months ago.

He showed up at N-G about an hour and a half after Tohma called him, his face flushed and his eyes huge as he just stared at me. I had gone back to coloring, adding some walking trees to my already big drawing of the Rambo butterfly and I didn't realize at first that he was there. Stretching out, I got up and smiled at him, making Kumagoro wave hello as well. Tohma looked a little drawn as he got up from his desk and started talking to the teen in a voice I couldn't hear.

The wide-eyed fan look faded as he listened to Tohma. Tatsuha looked far far better when he wasn't gushing all over the place about me, his face and body much more mature looking than a normal sixteen year old's. I waved at him and set Kumagoro down in Tohma's chair before bouncing over to them.

"So, Tohma gave you the rules?" I asked, smiling up at him. It must be a family thing because they were all tall, even Mika.

"Um, yeah he did," Tatsuha replied, looking over at Tohma. Tohma smiled back, his eyes dark and hard. I really hoped he didn't scare the kid too much. "I'm sure we could find something suitable to do."

"Great! Let's go!" I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the door. "Bye, Tohma!"

"Have fun, Ryuichi. Remember what I told you, Tatsuha."

I slammed the door to cut off any more abominations and continued dragging Tatsuha around, talking rapidly about how great it was to have a day off finally and how much fun it would be and how Tatsuha needs to take me everywhere. After hitting the elevator button about twenty times, Tatsuha managed to pull his hand free of my grip.

"Do you know where you would like to go?"

I put my sunglasses on and thought about it. There were always shops and arcades and stuff like that, but really, I've been going to those places for years and years now. I wanted to do something a bit new.

"Can we go to the zoo?"

He blinked and scratched his head. The elevator dinged and we got on, and I hit a couple random buttons before he pressed the lobby button.

"I guess we could do that, but aren't you afraid of getting mobbed?"

"Not with Tatsuha around," I said with a big smile. "Tatsuha can think of a way for us to go there and no one would notice!"

I admit I was playing up the child act, but I really did not want to hurt the kid's feelings if I totally ignored him or worse. I liked fans after all, but I knew that having a fan babysit me for a day would be either a total wet dream or a complete let down if I was myself. I couldn't do that to one of Tohma's relations-in-law. That would be mean of me.

He seemed to relax at the child act and managed a less nervous smile. The elevator stopped on the lobby and I bounced out, chatting wildly about visiting the zoo and seeing all the animals. Truth be told, I never been to the zoo in Tokyo. Either I was way too busy with work or way too poor, so this would be a good experience all around. I just needed to remember that I had to act right and not give away the game or let Tatsuha feel disappointment about hanging out around me.

Tatsuha rode a motorcycle. I stared for a very long moment at the bike sitting at the curb and then looked over at the teen as he straddled it and waited. I've rode on one a couple of times, and even had tried to get K to let me own one, but I never thought I would be allowed about on one here. I bounced in place, working up a good load of excitement and tackled him, nearly sending him, the bike and myself to the pavement.

"So cool! You've got a bike!"

"Nothing's cooler than you, Sakuma-san," he replied.

I whacked him lightly on top of his head. "Don't call me that! Call me Ryuichi and I'll call you Tatsuha, okay?"

"You mean it?" he asked, clasping his hands together. I pulled away, expecting a huge tackle from him.

"Uh-huh! We're friends, right?"

He was crying, and hugging me so hard that it felt like he was trying to break my ribs. "Yes, yes! I'll be friends with you, Ryuichi!"

"Okay! Okay!" I said, laughing and patting his shoulder. He let go at once and took a deep breath, calming himself down. I smiled and grabbed his waist, tapping my heels against the side of his motorcycle. "Let's go!"

To his credit, he didn't jump into full-blown fanboy mode like I had expected. He swallowed hard and shifted, but he went back to business and drove off into traffic without breaking down. I clung on to him and hummed while he drive, feeling some of the tension leaving his body. I could see why motorcycles were so popular they were fast and small to go through traffic and it allowed a person feel the wind better than any car. Tatsuha drove like he had been doing it for years, which he probably had.

We reached the zoo in under an hour, and Tatsuha parked in the small zoo parking lot. I got off and stretched, eyeing the line at the gates and wondering just how we could go look at the animals without me getting swamped by fans. Sunglasses were okay for the usual places, like airports and stores, but people didn't look at people in those places. A zoo would be totally different, especially with the way I normally acted around cute fuzzy critters. Tatsuha must have been thinking the same thing, but then his face brighten and he grabbed my hand.

"I've got an idea, Ryuichi," he said, tugging me along to the main office. He talked to the cute girl behind the desk for a couple minutes and then to the manager. After another minute, he and the manager shook hands and then he led me through the offices to a small dressing room filled with animal costumes. I bounced in place at the sudden cuteness.

"So, guess what?" he said, picking a rabbit costume out of the pile. "They normally have these people running around in these outfits for the kids but the normal guys are out on break and haven't come back. They'll let us go around in costume so long as we draw the kids in."

"I wanna be the rabbit!" I said, tugging at the costume. He let go and dug out a bear costume while I stripped off my shirt and pulled the bunny costume on.

"There's masks and everything," he said, holding the bunny ears hat and mask out to me. I glomped him and took them away, putting them on.

"This is the best idea ever!"

He laughed and put his own mask on. "Yeah, it is. Ready, Ryuichi Bunny Rabbit?"

"Ready, Tatsuha Bear!"

Then we were off. We went all over the place, fooling around and being very weird at some of the displays. We jumped a couple low fences to pet some of the tamer animals. We did a dance over by the bear enclosure and had pictures taken by a group of school girls. We wrestled and fooled around and I think Tatsuha got over some of his giddy fanboyness to just relax, although there were times that his words dropped into some serious flirting. I was flattered. He was when he wasn't clinging and crying and freaking out about his Ryuichi a nice looking guy that probably had his fair share of girlfriends. He was just so young and I felt a little like a very perverted old man even with the harmless flirting. A very perverted old and icky man thinking very bad thoughts about a young kid with more going for him than a has-been singer like me.

We were in the middle of the zoo, looking for the capybara enclosure when Tatsuha's phone went off. I pouted at the distraction and concentrated on trying to get over the bars to see the animals close up while Tatsuha talked quietly on the phone with whomever. I figured it was Tohma seeing how things were going and reminding him to treat me extra nice or something like that. After all, we have been gone for nearly three hours. Even workaholic Tohma had to worry a little bit about his favorite singer.

I didn't expect a suddenly serious look fall over Tatsuha's face, nor did I expect him to hang up and rush over to me. Grabbing me by the arm he dragged me off towards the gates, no longer spending any time acting like a big goof.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to get him to let go of me.

"Tohma screwed up," he said, getting us outside without having to hit anyone, although it almost looked like he was going to there. "You've got ten minutes to get to the _Music Fan_ studio."

"_Music Fan_? You mean I had a TV spot and Tohma forgot?" I pulled free and ran for his bike. "The fuck!"

"Yeah, no kidding! Since when does Tohma forget things, right?" He jumped on and gunned the engine. I grabbed his waist and hunkered down.

We sped through the parking lot and into traffic, Tatsuha really letting loose and driving like crazy. Tohma rarely ever forgot things when it came to our careers. Even if he wrote it all down in a daily planner, he only used it to make notes that he might need to know like mentioning someone's operation or their birthday or something. I needed a daily planner because I really didn't remember some things that well. Not that I actually needed to look at it myself, since that's why I had managers and producers and Tohma. But still, Tohma must really be working hard over that business with ASK and Bad Luck to have forgotten.

"Right, right!" I shouted, even as Tatsuha went through a red light and down the wrong way on a one-way street.

"I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" he replied, the bike's tires squealing around the next corner.

Why didn't Tohma send K at least? He could have at least cleared the road with a few pounds of TNT oh wait, I left Kumagoro back at Tohma's office, didn't I? I squeezed Tatsuha tighter, feeling the mask pull away from my face. K, Kumagoro and millions of fans would so be mad at me if I didn't make it in time for the show.

"Which way is stage seven?!"

I peered around him and pointed and he gunned the engine more and sped through the doors. If I wasn't having a mild panic attack at missing a spot on a live show, I would be cheering at how cool riding a motorcycle through a building was. We scattered a couple interns, ran over someone's script and I pointed down the last corridor.

"All right! We've made it to stage seven! We're here, Sakuma-san! Are you ready to rumble?"

Someone was singing my song. I could hear it, over the roar of the bike, the pounding of my blood, the yell of some stage hand.

Someone was singing _my_ song.

". . .Looks like I'm already on stage," I said, staring down at the set and the lone person standing center stage. Messy dark hair cut like mine, bright orange hoodie and khaki pants. Was he just some kid that they made up like me and threw on stage?

"Whoa!" Tatsuha glanced back at me. "So you are!"

"Wait," I said, recognizing the voice at last. "That's Shuichi!"

He had turned a little, and I got a clear of his face. It made sense that they would have tossed him in my place I know Tohma sometimes thought the kid was a younger, less jaded me. But to see it happen. . . I got cold. Is this kid going to become my replacement? I could almost see it. Everywhere. People talking, people comparing him to me. And the dry wind of knowing that someone was finding me wanting when compared to this new singer from N-G Productions.

". . .He is," I said out loud. Tatsuha touched my arm, leaning close, his dark eyes looking concerned.

"That's a pile of shit! No one's cooler than me! Let me down there!" I grabbed the railing, throwing my legs over it and ignoring Tatsuha's panicking yells as I dropped down. K heard me, spinning around in place and looking up, his mouth one big 'O'.

I had a nasty thought concerning K and his part in this farce. He must have dragged Shuichi into this, even knowing my tendency for jealousy concerning my music. But I had bigger things to think about, like wearing a bunny outfit onstage was not the kind of image I needed to show these fans of mine.

"K! Give me your leather and mic me up!"

I could always make K pay later on. Or tell Tohma to make him pay. Or find Kumagoro and make him swat K for being such a silly head and throwing Shuichi onstage. What was that guy thinking with anyways? Shuichi can't replace me. He can't.

K's leather hung off my shoulders like it was meant to look that way. I left it unbuttoned and rolled up the sleeves, holding the mic in one hand as I stepped into the lights. The faint buzz of noise reached me someone called my name and it was picked up by someone else, the orchestra stopping the music, and Shuichi's singing stopping with them. I kept my head down, gaining control of the childish urge to push him aside. But he called my name like he was happy to see me and I wanted him to realize that he had stepped over the line. He was good, but he can't reach me. He wasn't there yet.

"Beat it, kid," I said, raising my head and looking him straight in the eye. He paled, his own eyes growing huge and whatever else he was going to say stayed unsaid. I walked past him and smiled for the cameras.

"Sorry I'm late, but you wouldn't believe the traffic I ran into while trying to get here," I said, playing up to the hosts. I didn't look back to watch Shuichi leave. "Everyone give Shuichi a big thank you for keeping the show going until I got here! Be sure to catch him and his band Bad Luck when their new album hits the shelves next week."

There. Smoothing over things for the public and still smiling, still playing the gentle showman. At least Tohma should be happy enough that I didn't get surly on stage. And K would not threaten me with guns until after my segment was over. So I just had to continue being nice to the cameras and the spotlight and not act like a spoilt child that just had his favorite toy manhandled by someone else.

So I acted nice and answered a bunch of questions about Nittle Grasper songs and what everyone was doing, about my own solo works and how well the American public liked them, and then the rumors about my love life. I felt bad for the one person they kept on asking about she was a sweet kid but I haven't done anything more than hang out with her at a couple parties because she was still new to America and so very shy.

Three hours was a long time to stand around and talk with other people I didn't know that much. Sure, there were breaks and times where I left the stage to the other people, but things just kept drifting back to me. It was weird, I mean really weird. These other people were good too. They deserved more than a couple minutes to talk about themselves too. Although I admit I can be a greedy little diva when I felt like it and boy did I feel like it. I did not like the way my thoughts had been going for a while now, especially when I saw Shuichi singing one of my songs.

The little punk had to stop being such young before he got chewed up by the business.

After the show was over, we still hung around and gabbed for a while. It felt good to talk to some other professionals out there, and hearing what their styles were like. We posed for a few photographs taken for the _Music Fan_ website, and then everyone was saying goodnight and the stage was getting locked up. I stood outside the big doors, my hands in my pockets as I looked up at the ceiling, just thinking over the whole day. Then I thought about Shuichi.

I turned on my heel and headed for the studio's entrance, hands in my pockets and K's borrowed shirt falling off my shoulders. I needed to talk to Tohma and Noriko. I just didn't know where they were, which was why I nearly jumped out of my skin when the two appeared, standing by the doors and talking quietly. I clutched at my heart and glared at them.

"Miss us, Ryu?" Noriko asked, leaning forward and winking. "You've been a bad boy running off and making K work so hard to find you!"

"Now now, Noriko, it's not all Ryuichi's fault," Tohma told her, raising his hands.

Noriko grabbed me tightly and buried her head against my chest, making fake sobbing sounds. "I was so worried! Ryu was gone for so long and no one knew if he was kidnapped or being used for evil things!"

"But I'm safe now?" I sort of asked, sending Tohma a mental distress signal.

Tohma just smiled at me, letting me wallow in Noriko's drama. "I'm sure Tatsuha did nothing to harm our Ryuichi, Noriko."

"How do you know? The thought of our sweet innocent Ryu in the hands of such an infamous old hound makes me quiver in shame!"

I pat her on the shoulder, and made a face at Tohma. "I'm fine, Noriko."

"Besides, we all know that it is the other way around," Tohma added. "Ryuichi is still single and open-minded when it comes to hot bodies."

"You're no fun, Tohma," Noriko said as she turned around and stuck her tongue out at him.

I slung my arm around her shoulders and tugged her along until I could reach Tohma's shoulders. Then bringing them close to me, I hugged them. Taking the hint, they copied me and so we stood there in a group hug, arms over shoulders and hips against hips. This was what I wanted no, needed. This. It all suddenly clicked into place.

"What would you guys say to getting the band back together again?"


	10. track nine

_track nine_

They both stared at me. I smiled back and tighten my hold on them. Tohma looked at Noriko and she looked back. And then the arms around me tighten as well and we pulled in close together, almost like we were trying to crawl into each other's clothing. Noriko's laughter was high, fast, almost giddy, and Tohma bowed his head, his lips curving into a soft rare smile of true happiness. It was right. It was time, and I could almost feel whole standing like this with them.

Of course, someone had to take a picture of that group hug. We broke apart and I turned to see who it was. The black-haired teen lowered his camera and grinned, looking almost familiar to me even as Tohma crossed the distance and snatched the cell phone away.

"Tatsuha, you were supposed to go home," Tohma told him.

I blinked. "You stayed the entire time?"

"But I wanted to stay for Sakuma-san!" Tatsuha was blubbering again, clinging onto Tohma's coat. "And get pictures of him, and maybe hold him, and have him call me later!"

Tohma glanced over at me even as Noriko shifted so she was in front of me, unconsciously playing guard. It was pretty weird how the two tended to act that way around fans, as if I would get hurt if the fans got too close. I laid a hand on Noriko's shoulder and leaned against her, watching Tatsuha for a moment.

"You know, I guess it's okay that he keeps the pictures, Tohma," I said. "After all, he did drag me around all day and a guy like him probably had a lot of stuff he should have been doing. But, he needs to give us a copy of the group hug, right?"

Tohma sighed and handed the camera back. "If you insist, Ryuichi."

"Well, if he gets weird and sells them to anyone, you can always get K to shoot him," I replied, smiling. I ran my fingers along Noriko's ribs, making her giggle and jab an elbow at me. "Speaking of K, where did he go?"

"I believe he took Shindou-san home since he was the one that brought him here."

"Is he blind or something?"

"You know Americans - they just think we all look alike."

"Seriously, though. Shuichi doesn't look like me that much."

"I believe that K was pressured in trying to find you. It is my fault entirely. I should have double check your schedule before letting you go."

"Umm, can I get your autographs? I mean, since the whole group is here and. . ."

We broke up our conversation and looked over at Tatsuha. He took a step back and tapped his fingers together, a blush creeping up his cheeks and into his hair line. I had totally forgot he was there having finally got Tohma and Noriko all to myself.

"Will you promise to go home if we do that?" Noriko asked, folding her arms under her breasts.

Tatsuha nodded eagerly and produced an autograph book and a black marker. Noriko took them from him and flipped to an open page before scribbling a neat little poem at the top. She handed it to Tohma who covered the bottom half of the page with a few bars of music and his signature and then handed the book to me. I tried. I seriously tried but my kanji looked wobbly and alone in the corner. But since I was known for my crossover success, I figured he would love the English signature and the little Kumagoro I put at the end of it. Finished, I closed the book and handed them back to him.

"Now beat it," Noriko said, winking at him. Tatsuha nodded several times, nearly tripping over his feet, before he turned and ran out the door yelling at the top of his lungs about meeting the true gods of rock. I scratched my head and looked at the others.

"So now what should we do?"

"What do we always do when we get together?" Noriko said, poking me in the chest.

"We go to the NY Club and write music," Tohma said, folding his arms and cupping his elbows with his hands. "And we get so plastered that we end up sleeping on the couch at Ryuichi's place."

Maybe we should skip that part," Noriko replied as she fanned herself. "I am a married woman after all. . ."

"Since when has that stopped you from anything?" I linked my arm with hers and Tohma took her other arm, the three of us stepping outside and heading for the only car left in the parking lot.

"Ryu, you pervert!" She giggled and poked me in the ribs.

"I really think he has picked up a lot of bad habits while in America."

"I know! Did you see how bad his handwriting has gotten?"

"Hey, kanji is hard!"

"Sa, he is such a terrible lead singer, taking off and leaving us here to become such normal people."

"Oh please, like you two are normal at anything you do."

"I am wasting away as a stay-at-home mom and Tohma is stuck in that boring office day after day, toiling away with paperwork," she said, clinging to me and sobbing. "And you, you dirty old man, ran off with that tall American to become such a darling to the people abroad, never calling us or telling us anything!"

"Has she been like this since I left?" I asked, looking over her head at Tohma.

He smiled and unlocked the car, holding it open for Noriko. "Oh, you know how it is when she is away from her husband longer than an hour."

"Oh. Women problems."

"Just you wait, Ryu, I am so going to tell that to your wife when you get married."

"I'm going to get married?" I let go of her and she slid into the seat, tugging her skirt demurely down.

Oho! You think you will escape the marriage fairy, do you?"

"But darling, I'm married to my Art," I replied, and closed the door. Tohma chuckled and walked around the front, and I climbed into the back, leaning forward and draping my arms on either side of Noriko's headrest. "I suppose I could find someone that is more interested in working, but then I'll still go home to a pink rabbit and K's leftovers."

"He's cooking for you?" Noriko twisted around and looked at me.

"He thinks I don't eat right," I replied. "You should see the stuff he makes. Lasagna and spaghetti and some kind of weird potato thing. I think he's trying to clog up my brain with fat."

"Hm, I suppose I should look into getting you a real chef," Tohma said, adjusting his rear view mirror and then starting the car. "I can't imagine how healthy any of that is unless you were completely starving."

"I know. But I guess it's stuff that keeps." I shrugged and patted Noriko's bright hair. "Say, do you have any gray yet?"

"Ryuichi! Stop asking me that!" She smacked my hand and I laughed. "If anyone has gray hair, it'll be you!"

"Nope, sorry. I'll still look this gorgeous long after you lose all your teeth."

"Now children. I am driving."

"You know, pico-pico Nori-chan, I think Tohma has turned into an old man."

"I think you're right, Ryu-chan. Whatever shall we do about it?"

"Maybe we need to steal his hat and his underwear."

"I can always turn this car around."

"Or maybe we can get him in front of a keyboard. He always unwinds when he is given free reign with one of those."

"But what would his wife say? Tohma would be cheating on her with such a huge instrument."

"I possibly can't be hearing this."

"Do you think that she cares? Mika needs a break from his bad love poetry."

"Tohma! You didn't tell me that you write poetry! You have to show me it now!"

"Ryuichi, stop trying to take my jacket off!"

"Oh right, we are in a moving car."

"I don't think he has it on him. I've heard it was all in a huge book."

"Are you sure? Check his pants. He can hide anything in those!"

"I can't do that! What if my husband finds out?"

"I can't believe you two are adults."

"Maybe we should get him plastered first and then search his clothing for crappy love poems."

"That's your job, Ryu. I'll just take a lot of pictures and sell them to some poor fangirl that had been pining away for you two ever since that second encore performance."

"Yeah. . . that was a good one."

"So says the man that undressed me in front of a million fans."

"Hey, I was naked first!"

"Boys, boys, now stop fighting. I'm sure all you need to do is kiss and make up."

"Sometimes, I think Noriko is trying to get us to re-enact that show."

"Maybe you better look for cameras, Ryuichi."

"Do you think she hid them in her wig?"

"Don't make me go back there!"

"Aw, but you love me, Noriko, right?"

"Sometimes, I really wonder about that."

Tohma pulled to a stop in front of our favorite bar. I stepped out first and went to Noriko's door, opened it and gave her a hand up. Tohma came over to her other side, and we linked arms, still arguing good naturedly over whatever came off the top of our heads. We stepped into the club, still linked together and laughing and causing an instant stir among the other people inside. We posed just in case people were taking pictures and then went over to the bar and sat down, still arguing.

The bartender came up to us, took our orders and left. Tohma rested his elbow on the bar and rested his chin in his cupped hand, and smiled at me. "So, you really want to do this."

"Yeah, yeah I do," I replied and patted my sides down for paper.

"Oh come on, Tohma, you can't tell me that you rather sit around working on N-G's budget," Noriko said, tapping him on the nose. He laughed and raises his hands up.

"You've got me there, Noriko."

"We don't have any papers," I said, and waved the bartender down. "We need something to write on and a couple pens."

"Working on new ideas, Sakuma-san?" he asked, handing over some pens and a stack of papers covered with the club's logo.

"You better believe it."

"Let's find a booth where we can work," Tohma said, picking up his and mine drinks.

We got up and headed after him, sliding into the seats opposite of him. I put the paper down and snatched my drink back, and he rested his hands on top of the polished table, looking at Noriko.

"To be honest, I did expect something like this happening," he said quietly.

"You mean Ryu getting in his skull to bring the band back together?" Noriko asked, taking the paper and pens and drawing a little heart in the corner of the top sheet.

"He did write a couple Grasper songs since his return to Tokyo."

"You helped me, Tohma."

"Sa, so I did, but they are not really complete."

"No." I smiled and rested my head on Noriko's shoulder. "They don't have Noriko's touch yet."

She sighed and rubbed her cheek against the top of my head. "I just can't stay mad at you two. . . so where are they?"

"They're on my computer up at the office. We can take them to any studio inside of N-G and polish them up," he replied, taking a sip of his drink. "And we can go from there."

"It sounds like this will be fun."

"So, what'll be the plan of attack?" They both looked at me. I raised my eyebrows and looked back. "We're getting together again, right? Do we just sit on it quiet like and wait until we have a complete album or do we slam people with a single and then announce we're back? Come on, Tohma, you've got the business head out of all of us."

"A good question," he said, putting his glass down and taking some paper from me. He had his own pen, so Noriko kept the pen even though she pouted at his stealing her heart-covered paper. "Both ideas have merit if we let the tension build until we release a full album, there is a possibility we go platinum within a day. The amount of pressing that first album would need might break our production group in materials alone, but the payout would be ten times that. But if we press just a single, we run the risk of alienating the fans with a long wait for our album afterwards."

I craned my neck to look at the figures Tohma was writing up and linking together with balloons and arrows. I looked over at Noriko and rubbed my forehead.

"Did you get any of that at all?"

"Didn't you?"

Tohma crumpled up his paper and tossed it at me, and managed to get it stuck on top of my head. I yelped and knocked it off.

"I suppose we could put together a collection and add a new song to it," he said, picking up his glass. "It will mean less work and give our fan base something to chew on while we work on the rest."

"And we can get something like that out in a day or two, instead of sitting around and trying to keep Grasper's return secret," Noriko said as she raised her glass.

"Because as much as we try to deny it, N-G can be a hive of gossipers and the moment they see us in the same studio, it will get out," I said, raising mine.

We tapped our glasses together, our smiles nearly identical as we all said the same thing at the same time.

"Nittle Grasper is forever."

We drank and then the writing commenced. Tohma took a new sheet and wrote a group of notes down, his elegant handwriting in notations along the margins. He handed it to me and I filled in the space under the notes, linking words together in a shaky hand before switching over to romaji since it was a little bit easier for me. I linked the words together and spaced them out to fit and then slid the sheet over to Noriko. She looked at it for a moment or two and then started working on a second set of notes, her notations all curves and circles. She slid it back to Tohma and he read it over, nodding slowly.

"Yes, that is the punch it needs."

I bounced in my seat and pulled over a new sheet of paper, carefully writing down the lyrics from ages ago the same lyrics I sang at Bad Luck's first concert. Noriko leaned against my arm, reading as I wrote them down. Tohma put his glass down and leaned forward, his eyebrows rising.

"You still remember them," he said, sitting back.

"Yeah. Think you two can make something out of them?"

He and Noriko exchanged looks and they each grabbed a clean sheet of paper. I finished my end of the notes and left them at it while I ordered up another round. When I got back, they both had finished pages. I looked them over and then folded that group together, setting them on top of the first sheet of music, and grabbed the next sheet. Slowly we built up a core of new songs, some only a few scratches while others fully complete singles. Not that we were finished by any stretch of the imagination. What we were doing was getting our ideas together. It would take a lot of hours in a studio to actually go from paper to the airways. But at least it was a good start.

We used up all the paper we could get, and then we were talked into running through a couple of our old hits by the live act on stage. We drank too much, we flirted shamelessly with members of the crowd, and then we stumbled out into the streets about two in the morning, still riding a high. Somehow, Tohma got in his head the idea of serenading the park, so the three of us ended up there, singing bad songs and laughing about it. Parts of the night passed on in a blurry haze while other parts were sharply in focus like Tohma sitting on the ground, his hat hanging off of one ear and his face flushed a pretty pink. We made it back to the car in one piece and Tohma drove us slowly to my place, where we spent a lot more time draped over each other, still working on the music.


	11. track ten

**Author's Notes:** There is some more sex in this part and is purely Tohma and Ryuichi. As an added note, the idea of them exchanging clothing is an odd one but it seems to fit with the dynamics of their band.

* * *

_track ten_

I don't remember falling asleep. I don't remember anything much past the point where we laid on the floor, open bottles around us and piles of paper everywhere. Waking up was a blurry mess, made even messier by the fact I think I fell asleep with a rug on my face that just turned out to be Tohma's infamous feathered coat.

But that was okay, because I had two people curled up next to me, even if we really were getting too old for this kind of thing. Sure, we've done this kind of thing during our careers, but now, just past the thirty mark, I know it was starting to smart lying on the floor in a wreckage of papers and pencils and empty bottles. Not that I was really thinking at that point in time. All I really wanted to do was roll over and tug Noriko's dress on top of me for a blanket.

Things snapped into focus and I sat up, sticking my tongue out to get a look at it. I mean, it felt like a fuzzy carpet had died on it so I had to make sure if that really happened or not. Noriko came bouncing by, wiggling around as she tried pulling on a pair of my looser jeans, her hair already comb out into two long pigtails. I tugged on a piece of paper glued to the side of my face, and whistled at her wiggles. Married or not, she still had one fine ass.

"Pervert," she snapped, turning and whacking me with a shirt I didn't know I owned. I ogled some more and ducked as she tried hitting me again. She put her hands on her hips and glared. "I don't know how you can stand wearing something like this."

"It's loose on me," I said and slowly stood up. My head throbbed, but I could ignore it if I didn't do anything sudden. "You've must have gained weight. I don't remember you having trouble fitting into my clothes before."

"I have hips now, silly Ryu," she declared and gave my jeans a tug. They moved another half an inch and she sighed, buttoned them closed and pulled on my shirt. "There. Do I look like I spent the night drunk on my ass?"

"No, you look like you had an affair with a high school kid," I said, and brushed a quick kiss on her cheek. "Going home, already?"

"Nah, Ive already called home and everything fine so I thought I would go to work," she replied and reached up, rubbing her fingers against my cheek. "You've got kanji all over you face."

"Where's Tohma?"

"In the shower." She looked around the room, yawning and stretching. "What were we doing?"

"Being Nittle Grasper," I said, and leaned on her, yawning too. Everyone in my life was morning people, just my luck. "Saa, I just wanna sleep."

"Well, once we go, you can have the whole apartment to yourself," she said and gave me a small push. "But boy, you should really take a shower."

"That bad?"

"I wouldn't call it your worse smell, but you should anyways."

Tohma stepped into the room, tugging my leopard print faux leather shirt over his head. It fit him slightly tighter than it did me, as did my leather pants. I huffed slightly and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to glare. Course, I really did not have enough in me to really glare, but I thought the thought would count.

Tohma laughed and picked up his hat from Kumagoro's head, tilting it back so he looked absolutely cute and not evil or sexy. I pouted some more. Honestly. Why do they have to look better in my clothing than I do?

"Is something wrong, Ryuichi?"

"You both better wash my clothing before giving it back," I replied, sticking my lower lip out more. "Just because we live together on the road or anything does not mean I am so going to wear stuff still sticky with your cooties or anything like that."

"Same old Ryu," Noriko said and kissed me on the cheek.

"Yes, it is nice to have him around again," Tohma said, picking his coat off the floor and shaking it out. He was even wearing my gloves, the evil blond. "I don't think I've had this much fun during the last couple of years." He bent down and captured my lips in a simple kiss, and pulled away, making a slight face. "Although he does need a bath."

"Gee, thanks."

He tapped his forehead against mine and pulled on his coat. Noriko fell into step with him, and the two left me alone in my apartment. I looked around at the mess, nudged an empty bottle and huffed. Fine. I guess I'll just stay home and clean up and such. That though lasted maybe half a minute, since my bed was calling with its nice big dark windows and such. I crawled under the covers, curled up with a very quiet Kumagoro and slept half the morning away.

By the time I showered, brushed and pulled on some of my own clothing, the mess in my living room got to me. I picked up all the bits of paper with writing on them and set them aside. I tossed all the bottles into a bag for recycling and then paused not sure if Tokyo had a recycling program. Oh well, I could always ask K later on. I got out the broom and chased away the dirt and then dug out a mop to scrub away the spills. The rugs were hung outside for a good airing and I put all my dirty clothes including Tohma's and Noriko's stuff into the laundry and washed them. Then I dug out one of K's leftover meals, and started looking at the stuff we wrote last night.

I could tell when we were really drunk and when we were slightly drunk by the way our handwriting got. The music also was all over the place, not one piece reading like it was from the same band as the next one. It was definitely different to see our musical styles after all these years. I had expected us to be the same, but no, we've grown up a little too. Less pop and more rock seemed to be the growing theme in what I was seeing. I put the papers into a sketchpad and sat Kumagoro down on top for safe keeping.

I brought the rugs back in and re-arranged them all over the floor. I moved some furniture around and dusted stuff. I went through my closet and found out that the stuff Noriko and Tohma got was from my stage gear. I decided to put on one of the fancier outfits I had, slick leather pants and corset-styled vest, all of it made to cling to my body while pieces of my skin showed through the crazy lacings. It fit snug and so did the boots that went with them, making my legs look even longer than they were. I struck a stage pose and then felt silly since I was no where near a stage.

But I kept the outfit on as I continued to organize everything. I ate something K called 'potato salad' and had some strawberry milk, brushed my teeth and ran through several warm-up exercises meant to keep my lungs and voice clear while I jumped around on stage. I styled my hair and put on a light coat of make up.

Deciding that I did enough screwing off, I headed out, leaving the light on in the kitchen and locking the door behind me. I decided to head downtown to N-G and see if Tohma was still around. Noriko was probably at home and no doubt apologizing for her skipping out on her family yesterday. Tohma was a workaholic so expecting him to be at work was understandable.

Seeing him leave work was another thing. I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel and then decided to follow him. He drove normally, and went in a direction that looked somewhat familiar until it clicked that he was going to Eiri's house. But yet he didn't stop there. Instead he circled around and pulled in front of a different house. He sat there for a few minutes and then got out of the car, walking towards Eiri's place. I craned my neck to see what was going on but he was still in dark clothing and it was hard to see him.

But I did see what happened next. Some guy was pushed out in front of a car and Tohma was walking back up the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets. I pulled over sharply, and leaned over, pushing the passenger side door open. He stopped, staring at me with huge eyes even as I grabbed his sleeve and dragged him towards me.

"What the fuck, Tohma?" I hissed, looking back at the accident. There were now more than a few people stopping and looking and taking out cell phones. I let go of Tohma's jacket and went back to the steering wheel. "What were you thinking?"

I knew about his little obsession. I knew about it but yet I never thought he would go that far. What was he even thinking? Was he thinking? Did he just decide to go even creepier evil blond on me when I wasn't looking?

"He wasn't taking the hint," Tohma said calmly, his arms folded and his stranger's mask back in place.

I smacked the steering wheel with my open palms and twisted in my seat to look back. There were lights added to the mayhem, and I took the moment to drive away from the scene and the strangeness of it all, Tohma a quiet form in my passenger seat.

"So, you've decided to just kill him? And who was him?"

"Taki Aizawa from ASK."

My fingers tighten around the wheel and I could almost imagine that they were digging into Tohma's throat. How could he remain calm? Didn't he know. . ? No, he knew. Tohma always knew. He cleaned up my messes enough times to know exactly what he was doing.

"You're blacklisting him?" I couldn't keep to the same dry tone he was using.

"My, what a suspicious mind you have, Ryuichi."

I took a corner hard, threw the brakes on and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. The calm stranger face broke and I saw true feelings appear in his clear eyes and his slack mouth. I kissed him hard, grabbing a handful of blond hair in my free hand to twist his head back. He was slack in my hands, letting me abuse his mouth and his hair. Then he gasped, his body arching and his mouth insistent on mine, his teeth a sharp accent to the heat. I bit and clawed at him, his hands going for my shoulders and his legs sprayed out half over mine.

He must have noticed what I was wearing as his hands found one set of lacings and untied them. My hand was between his legs, pressing the leather against his groin and keeping him from moving up against me. He pulled free from my lips and I bit down on his earlobe, my foot hitting the horn as I scrambled to move over him. Neither of us noticed the sound as we yanked clothing out of the way of our hands. I let go of his hair, sliding my hands down to push those tight pants down and he groaned, his hands getting between the waistband of my leathers and my skin.

Making out in a car was messy and hard, the seats not designed for two grown people. I pulled away and reached down, releasing the seat and gained more room. He stretched, planting his right foot on the floor and hooking his left around my waist. I stopped trying to get him completely undressed, nipping at his exposed skin and making short work of what I wore. Then there was sliding heat and tightness and hot skin against my open mouth.

He cried out. I slid harshly against him, biting and sucking. His hands tighten and I nipped his jaw. He hissed and grind up. I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down. He was chanting something under his breath, soft puffs of air cooling the side of my neck. I turned and pressed my mouth against his, swallowing his words. The slick heat tightened and I felt warmth spread between us. Another harsh slid and I buried my face against his neck.

"I should. . . wear your leather more often," Tohma breathed, his voice harsh.

I tried laughing, but all I could manage was a short gasp. "Might as well. . . keep them."

"Do they get this hot?"

"It's part of the price of looking fuckable."

"Mm." His fingers moved over my sides, tracing the crossing straps. "These are new."

"K had a fit when I bought them. Said they didn't fit my image."

"I hope we didn't destroy them."

"They're leather. It's not that easy to destroy them," I said and pulled back, wincing as a couple scrapes made themselves known.

He sat up, making a face at the mess we made. I reached behind me and checked the dash for tissue and found some fast food napkins. Tohma took them and swiped at the mess. I set my clothing to rights and slid back over to the driver's seat, pulling the vest off since it did need relacing to look right. Tohma adjusted his clothing and pulled his seat upright.

"I should pick up my car," he said, rubbing his face.

I cracked the windows open and pulled back on to the street. "Have Sakano pick it up. He looks pretty non-threatening."

Tohma glanced at me. "You think there's going to be trouble."

"It doesn't matter what I think."

His laugh sounded hollow to my ears. "If that's what you want."

I reached over and smack the side of his head with my hand, surprising both of us. He sucked in his breath and I tried to keep breathing, my hands whitening at the knuckles. Neither of us moved for a moment and then he reached over, laying his hand on top of one of mine.

"Ryuichi. . ."

A soft sigh, a silent prayer. What he did to me with a single word. I sucked in a deep breath, turning my hand over and lacing our fingers together.

"Don't leave me alone with this."

"Idiot. Do you think I can?"

Six years ago and a terrible secret. Hollow eyes framed by two pale faces, both far too fair to live comfortably among the people they were born to. Blood stained hands and silent tears. All of it held together by a strong will glued together by a friend's silent understanding. If that left, what would he do but fall apart.

"You and Mika," he said softly, his hand trembling in mine. "Don't either of you leave me again."

But I did leave, didn't I? I couldn't take the emptiness and the tears. I couldn't stand there, pretending to be happy while I watch them grew tighter and tighter, the secret seeking cracks they couldn't allow. So I did leave, because the music had turned sour.

I knew this, yet I couldn't agree to stay forever. I've changed.

"I'm here now," I said.

His hand jerked, but he didn't let go. "So you are."

Left unsaid was that I may not stay. I've tasted the road and had liked it. But I would stay for a while. After all, we were getting the band together. I couldn't sing for them if I was halfway across the world.

"I'll take you home," I said, and took the next turn towards his place. He nodded and kept hanging on to me. For now, that was what we both needed.


	12. tack eleven

Disclaimers and warnings as same as in the first chapter. There's some more Grasper interactions complete with some plottage going on.

* * *

_track eleven_

It hit me around the time we snuck down into an empty studio that we really didn't have an approach to market our return. I was chewing on Kumagoro's ear, listening to Noriko going over the harmonies with Tohma when the idea hit me. We needed some kind of venue to make an official announcement.

Tohma was moving the sliders, and adjusting the volume before telling Noriko to go over that part again, please. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and listened as he played our parts over what she was playing. There it was - our stuff, our voice and not some kid's attempt to touch us. I must have said something because Tohma turned slightly and rubbed his cheek against my hair. Then he leaned forward, adjusting more sliders and nodding his head. I spun around in my chair, humming along with the beat.

"I bet we can get several mixes for this one," I said, sticking Kumagoro on top of my head.

"Let's get this one down before planning anything more."

Noriko was bouncing along with the beat, her hair a soft lavender color today and framing her face like a fluffy cloud of cotton candy. I wondered if it would taste the same but that was derailed by her finishing with a flourish and flashing us the victory sign. Tohma rewound the music and then he was up and pulling me with him as he entered the sound booth. The finished tracks were playing over the speakers and we went into a huddle on the floor, Noriko's head in my lap and her legs over Tohma's lap.

"It sounds good," she said, reaching up and tapping my chest. "Your voice only improves with age."

"Oh ouch. I didn't know I was ithat/i old," I mock-pouted and smacked her lightly with Kumagoro.

"The guitar works," Tohma said, leaning against me. "I didn't think it would but it adds punch to it."

"Told you," Noriko said, sticking out her tongue.

"So, how are we going to go public? Just release an album and call it 'We're Back' or have a concert?"

"That's a stupid name for an album."

"But it is to the point. No, I have an idea in mind, Ryuichi."

"Which one? A venue or a set of live concerts?"

"I was thinking concerts, but a venue would have a better punch. We do need some more songs before we can go with the concert idea. It's not that we don't have enough material to play, it is just that they are old hits from three years ago."

"How about _Hit Stage_? They're pretty big now, right?" I held Kumagoro over my head and dangled him there despite his protests.

"A good idea, but I'm afraid Bad Luck is going to perform on that show next week."

I lowered Kumagoro and made a face. Them again. I thought Tohma was going to produce our band, not let another band take the center stage like they were better. But I wasn't really sure what he had in mind. Maybe he was planning on having a live concert while _Hit Stage _was on but no, that didn't make sense. Then there was everything with Shuichi. I haven't yet done any of the crazy ideas I've had concerning the little copy-cat.

"Tohma, can you muscle our way on to _Hit Stage_?"

Noriko sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Ryu? What's going on in your crazy skull?"

"They can be the appetizers, right?"

Tohma glanced at me and raised his remote control. The endless loop of the new single changed to one of our first singles. "You're planning something, aren't you?"

"Me?" I tried looking cute and innocent and he just snorted.

"Fine, I'll do it for you, Ryuichi. Now, let's figure out what we should add to the collection. I was thinking a few hits with a couple remixes. Noriko?"

"That sounds good, but don't forget that we have some non-hits that were well received critically wise."

"Not all of those were that good," I said, making a face. I eyed her hair some more and leaned over to take a bite out of it. She shrieked and gave me a push. I fell and laughed, holding Kumagoro up for her to hit instead. Tohma watched us like he couldn't understand what was going on and clicked his button. Another song pounded through the speakers and Noriko and I stopped in mid-wrestle to listen.

"That's one weird song," she said after a minute. "Who is it?"

"You don't recognize Ryuichi's voice?"

Seeing at how I was screaming the words instead of actually singing, I wasn't surprised she didn't recognize me. I tossed Kumagoro at Tohma and pulled my legs up to my chest. The song was short, so it faded into some Grasper ballad, much to the relief of my eardrums.

"I tried everything in the States, even death metal," I replied and shrugged. "Not my best moment."

"It sounds like you're gargling a monkey's sack."

"Mental image, Noriko!"

"So, hits and remixes of some of our older side B tracks?"

"I like the B sides from _Purple Nurple_ and _Sister's Secret Code_," I said, curling on my side.

"_Purple Nurple_ was one of our better albums despite the name."

"I like that name."

"It was one of your ideas, so of course you like it, Ryu."

"Hm, I like that combination," Tohma said and clicked his button a couple times. The speakers whined for a second and then the opening tracks of _Silent Black _came on. "Let's work on a couple remixes first and go from there."

More work and more work. We spent nearly a day and a half in the studio putting the collection album together. Just because it was a greatest collection did not mean we were just going to rip songs from old albums and leave it at that. We were Grasper and we never did things by half. By the time we dragged ourselves from the studio, there was already a buzz about us getting back together in the gossip shows. We haven't announced it officially, but still people noticed that I was hanging out with Tohma more than normal and Noriko was with us. It didn't take a genius to speculate on a reunion at all.

The single hit the presses the next day and Tohma was busy scheduling a couple interviews for us so Noriko and I went wandering around the building. We were supposed to show up for a board meeting, but I wasn't feeling up to it, and she had forgotten where it was being held. Not that it was that important for us to be there since Tohma had made up his mind, but the other people wanted to yell at someone. We ended upstairs in the conference rooms and Noriko led us right to where Bad Luck was meeting.

And it sounded like they didn't know the change in plans for _Hit Stage_. Of course, Noriko didn't have to be so mean about them being the appetizers. I mean, it was bad enough we were taking over the main show, but being all bad about it wasn't the way to do it. Then again, maybe she knew something about them that I didn't. She did work with them after all.

I had to step in to correct their assumptions, not that it seemed to help much. After a brief scolding from K, I started trying to explain but then Shuichi went nuts and on and on about how I hated him then went running out of the room like I tried to kill him. I stood there hugging Kumagoro and tried not to cry. I didn't know he still thought about that whole thing on _Music Fan_. I didn't mean anything by it. Not like what he was thinking obviously.

K and Noriko immediately tried comforting me so I didn't notice the other people of Shuichi's band leave. It was a bit odd they didn't stick around to ask me why, but I didn't really think about it. I had other things on my mind, like why K still felt protective of me even though he pretty much deserted me. Okay, he had quit and went over to the Bad Luck project, but still, it felt like he had abandoned me. Maybe I was just being too sensitive to it right now. I couldn't remember actually sleeping the past couple of days.

"Bad Ryu, you really had me going there," Noriko said, hugging me. "Here I thought you really hated them."

"I really don't." I said with a sniff and rubbed my nose on my arm. Noriko tsked and took out a tissue, handing it over. I blew my nose, and tossed it into the garbage can.

"You big silly, I was going out of mind worrying about it!" She smacked me on the arm and sighed, taking out a compact and looking at her nose. "Aren't you going to tell them, K?"

I turned to K, giving him one of my better puppy sad eyes looks. He folded his arms over his chest and slowly shook his head, a crazy smile spreading across his face. "Now why would I do that?"

We both stared at him. He held up his hands and laughed, and headed out the door not even stopping to explain his actions. I looked over at Noriko and she sighed, shaking her head.

"Do you think he has finally gone mad?"

"Knowing K, he probably was already there."

"Nah, he's plotting," I replied after a moment's reflection filled with chewing on Kumagoro's ear. "He's gonna do something weird for _Hit Stage_."

"Maybe we should warn Tohma," Noriko said, taking my elbow and dragging me out of the room.

I went along even though I really thought a nap would be better on the comfy couches in the corner. "Betcha he already knows."

"Don't be silly, Ryu!"

"Serious! Betcha he knows!" I poked her side and tried to wiggle free of her grip. I didn't want to disturb Tohma while he was busy and that was what Noriko was going to do if she kept on dragging me down the hall.

She made a face and continued to drag me, so I resorted to more drastic measures, which included crying and smacking her with Kumagoro. Unfortunately for me, Noriko had mad mothering skills and ignored all the noise I was making. Office workers paused in their daily routines as we went by, Noriko sprouting flames and I wailing and flailing like I was getting dragged to my death.

All the commotion did drag Tohma out of his office by the time we got there - I still being pulled along, but with the added poundage of a couple people I had grabbed and a light fixture. He stood in his doorway, office phone to his ear and a look on his face that could only be described as a 'stepped in something sticky in the middle of the night' look.

He then turned his back and went into his office, closing the door with a click. Noriko kicked the door in, dragging me and my extra weight behind her, still fuming about something or another. By this time, I had already forgotten what I trying to do, not that it really mattered because Noriko had forgotten as well. Instead she was yelling something about trying to work with a child - probably meaning me - and waving her hands around about all the noise I make and when are we going to really get going with real work.

I just sat on the floor, let go of the people I had grabbed, sat the light fixture down and took out my sketchpad. It sounded like Noriko was getting a huge head of yelling and I wasn't going to attract her attention when she was in that kind of mood. I've learnt early on that one does not attract a PMSing woman unless one had chocolate ready.

Tohma tried to hide behind his desk, cupping his hand around the receiver while trying to talk to the person on the other end. Noriko meanwhile tried to climb over the desk to grab the phone away from him. I bent down and started drawing Noriko as a Rambo-type blowing up keyboards, so I missed the part when the phone was jerked away and she was sobbing on his chest and he was patting her shoulder awkwardly.

"Do you know what happened, Ryuichi?"

I looked up and chewed on a crayon. "Noriko's tired and being all cranky and husband missing?" I ventured.

He sighed and patted her shoulder a bit more. She calmed down and tried rubbing her face against his shirt. Tohma made a face and reached for a drawer without moving her away from him.

"I do have some good news," he said, grabbing a tissue box and holding it out to her. "They already need to make another press of the new single, and we should have a press conference ready in an hour."

"That soon?" Noriko said, coming up from Tohma's chest, her eyes huge. She shrieked and dived for her bag, spilling tissues all over the place.

"Are they going to take pictures?"

Tohma shrugged and sat down, watching Noriko take out her compact and looked at herself. She made a face and turned towards Tohma, who nodded at his private bathroom and she ran in there, locking the door behind her. I made a face and went back to work on my drawing. Maybe if she had just warned a guy I wouldn't have acted so nuts in coming here and thus save her some grief.

She popped out of the bathroom a few minutes later looking like she had a couple days worth of sleep. I yawned and closed my sketchpad, set it aside and prepared to take a little nap. Tohma said it would take an hour for the interview people to show up so I was going to get some sleep. Not that I really was going to sit around and play nice all day long with the press. There were a lot of things we should be doing instead of waiting for them.

Noriko had to jab me awake just in time for the press to show up and ask questions. She had pulled her hair back from her face while Tohma lost his feathered coat. I clung onto Kumagoro and spent most of the interview letting the others talk while I hid behind him. It was pretty funny watching the press' reaction to being talked to by a stuffed animal but I think both Tohma and Noriko were a bit upset with me. Oh well. Even geniuses needed some bad days, right?

A couple pictures came after the interview and the press left. Tohma and Noriko talked quietly about something over by his desk while I stretched out on couch and played with Kumagoro. I probably could hear what they were talking about if I tried, but I didn't care. I figured that it was me anyways. A lot of their quiet talks centered on me and my bad behavior. I wasn't sure why they would consider this bad behavior when they had seen me in my rare destructive moods, but I guess they had another name for that. Temper tantrum?

We went back to the studio and spent a couple more hours going over a new mix but when there was a flare up over piano verses harp, we all realized that it was time to stop and get some rest. This, whatever was between us, was just too fragile to break apart just when we were starting to get use to each other again. So Tohma drove us home, dropping Noriko off after apologizing and then it was my turn to get dropped off. He almost said something to me but instead changed it to a fake smile, briefly brushing my cheek with his lips.

As he drove, I almost felt like he was saying goodbye.


	13. track twelve

Disclaimers and warnings are the same as from the first chapter. And now we start showing off a little bit of stage action, the pieces played by Grasper based off of songs by ICEMAN - in fact, the opening song is based directly off of _Caution_. Anyways, enjoy.

* * *

_track twelve_

Seven days was nothing at all in the world of a busy star. Between one blink and the next, the time passed by fast, filled with interviews and pictures and gossip. We worked until we fought, we went apart for half a day and then we were at it again. There were so many changes between us that it almost felt like we couldn't be who we once were, that the first day was just a leftover from days long lost.

But then the sixth day came and everything clicked again. We were reading each other's cues, we weren't arguing over sound because we knew without asking where the sound was going. Studio time sailed past without one fight and we were again moving close together, almost touching and doing that flirting that often had the gossip hounds panting to find out if there was a steamy affair between the three of us.

After an afternoon studio session, we laid collapsed over each other in a too wide booth while the press sat across from us and tried not to ask the most obvious question on their mind. We stole each other's drinks and Tohma wore Kumagoro for his hat – which Noriko stole from him – and I leaned back in the chair with my shirt undone and my lips far too red from lipstick. We talked and chatted and the press went away without getting the answers they really wanted. Tohma then gave Kumagoro back and we went home to prepare for the next day.

Tohma picked me up early in the morning. Knowing that it would be hot sweaty work to get everything set up properly, I wore an oversized shirt and a pair of biker shorts, my stage gear packed away in a duffle. Tohma's own gear was in a dry cleaner's bag resting on the back seat and he was relaxed in a pair of khakis and a dress shirt. We stopped at Noriko's and she came out in cutoffs and baby tee, a small suitcase in her arms. She piled into the back seat and set her suitcase on the floor and leaned forward to give us each a peck on the cheek.

I turned around in my seat to smile at her, and Tohma pulled back into traffic, driving to Wani Station. She smiled back and tugged on my headband, making me blind until I was able to fix it right.

"Did you send the keyboards ahead of us?" she asked.

Tohma nodded, turning into the fast lane. "I even had them send Ryuichi's mic stand, though I am unsure how much prep time they will allow us before the show starts."

"Why?" I asked, sitting down in my seat and chewed on Kumagoro's ear.

"To see if you have enough room to swing it around like you do, silly," Noriko replied and tugged on my headband again.

"Eww, yeah, I really don't want to break any lights. Those big ones are just not fun at all when they shatter."

"Only you would manage to throw a mic stand twenty feet in the air and hit a spotlight," Tohma said, shaking his head.

"How was I suppose to know they would be that low?"

"Mm, he's got a point."

"Surprisingly."

I lightly smacked Tohma in the arm with Kumagoro, and he laughed, glancing at me. I stuck my lower lip out at him and he shook his head looking up into his rearview mirror at Noriko. She reached down and tugged on my headband and kicked at my seat when I turned around to tug on her shirt.

"Don't make me stop the car," Tohma said. Instantly we stopped fooling around and I turned back around in my seat and set Kumagoro in my lap.

"Should we get out standby, Tohma?" Noriko asked after a few minutes of quiet. I cracked an eye open and made a face.

"No, I think we can let the music take him right before the main feature of the show."

I thought it was a good plan. I really didn't need standby when the music was all around us. I know that they used it because they want me to take things seriously but I didn't like always being serious. It was a big pain and it made me feel a little weird in the head. Not that I didn't already felt weird in the head. It just made it more so.

Snuggling back into my seat, I let them talk around me while I dozed. Makeup could erase lines and dark circles but I wanted to look as rested as I could so they didn't cake the stuff on enough so I would sneeze. Next thing I knew, we were at the station and Tohma had touched my arm to make sure I was awake. I followed them into the studio, hugging Kumagoro against me and carrying my bag.

"Wow, what a big stage," I said, a few steps behind Tohma and Noriko. "It's always fun to sing on a big stage. Not that a small stage is not fun, but it can be really better on a big stage."

"Sakuma-san!"

I looked up and spotted Shuichi standing there, looking a little lost and confused but still being nice to me. I grinned and swung my arms around, dropping my bag. He copied me, still blinking like I wasn't making sense.

"Let's knock them dead, Shuichi!"

"R-right!"

Just then Tohma was at my elbow, telling me that we have to go through a couple sound checks. I followed him, leaving my bag to be picked up later. Sound checks always were a bit annoying. No matter how hard I tried, I just never found a sound master that could adjust things to the right level. Usually Tohma oversaw the procedure, but today we were all busy with setting things up and making sure our equipment was put in the right place. I waited for Tohma and Noriko to get their gear set right and then dragged my mic stand between their two keyboard systems. I always move it around when I sing, but starting out I wanted it right in the center where it belong.

I ran through the song, not even trying to get the words out at the right air. Noriko made a face at me and I stuck my tongue out at her. Tohma called for another check and adjusted his keyboard and this time I did put a touch more volume in it. Still it wasn't at my usual levels and I knew some people had noticed it. Yet everyone told me how great it was as I stepped off the stage and accepted a bottle of water. I used a towel to wipe sweat off my face – even for a ten minute check the lights were unbelievably bright – and went to sit down for makeup and hair.

Soon Noriko and Tohma joined me in the chairs while Bad Luck was on stage running through their set. I listened to them with half an ear, my attention more on what was being held in front of my face. They were good – their act had cleaned up and no longer was the synth playing so choppy, although the kid at the board did not look familiar to me. His playing though was close to the way Tohma played, just without the flair for drama. But he looked young. Maybe he'll grow into the drama.

Makeup and hair done, I resisted the urge to touch my face, and dug out my stage clothing instead. Noriko stopped me from changing out in the open and Tohma showed up to take me to our dressing room. It was a real one too, with a huge mirror and several worn chairs and hot tea. I ignored the tea because it would strain my voice and instead changed into the tight jeans and stretched out tank top. There was a leather jacket to go with it, but I left it off for now.

Tohma pulled out a cream colored suit with a lot of lacing and pulled it on. Noriko came in and stripped, pulling on a tight leather mini-dress and spending a couple moments smoothing the lines out. We jostled for a moment while trying to find the right poses, and then broke apart to wait for the stage manager to give us our cue. Of course, I got bored fast, so I went out to see how the stage was coming along.

They had gotten all the lights up, and for now, they just left Bad Luck's stuff on the stage since they were going first. I poked around and ducked over in the shadows were the chairs people sat on in between sets were and played a little game with myself to see if I could count all the lights. I reached thirty when the stage had another flurry of activity and then the hosts appeared, talking about their show. I chewed on a nail and waited.

Shuichi and his band posed for the cameras right before a commercial break. I nodded with approval at the great use of a mic stand, although points were deducted by how close he came to hitting his own guitar player with it. Then the hosts were talking again, and the cameras moved back to Bad Luck.

They played. Oh, how did they play. He was still a little young sounding – they all were – yet he used the stage and sang like he owned it. Good voice, good timbre and his moves were evolving from poses I used to use. The song was different and he really didn't have any of the hesitation he had shown before.

By the time they were off and the show went to commercial, I was at his side holding out my sketchpad and hoping for a signature. He seemed surprised and tried to wave me off, but I was insistent that he gave me his signature. I even threw one of my rings in and my own signature. He almost looked like he was going to cave when Noriko dragged me off to the stage, complaining that I had a show to do. I didn't care; I just wanted a signature from my friend Shuichi.

Stage lights were always hot. I stood next to my mic stand and rubbed the back of my neck, letting the hosts' words fall on deaf ears. Tohma was to my right, Noriko was to my left, and off stage – if I squinted hard enough – I could see Shuichi and his band watching. Shuichi smiled and gave me a small wave, so I returned it with a peace sign and a wide grin. The stage hand counted down the seconds and then the world was filled with music.

I leaned forward and screamed, reaching high C and making the speakers whine in protest. Tohma took the whine and played a discord against it, opening the tracks to one of our rawer new pieces. Noriko picked it up, weaving in guitars and bass. Tohma build it up and I swung my stand around, leaning into the mic.

"I feel. . . so much. . . better!"

Another whine, the noise distorting and then working into the beat as Tohma played with his keyboards, and I threw myself into the music, singing in a fast, staccato rhythm. Noriko's voice a sharp contrast to mine with soft smooth whispers, and I whirled the stand around and took the mic with me as I went over to her. We sang together on my mic and I leaned forward, flirting with her, with the rest of the crew. Tohma stuck his tongue out and I went across the stage, hooking an arm around his chest and all but breathing the next line in his ear.

I pulled away and went center stage, taking the mic stand and rolled it around. We were nearing the end of the song so I hit another high C, threw my head back and slowly grind against the stand; the echoes of that C reverberating over and over back at me. Then the mic was set back into place and the silence descended as Tohma and Noriko stopped, all of us with our heads bowed as if in deep thought.

No one moved or breathed for at least thirty seconds. Then someone decided that they were live and cued the hosts who then started chatting about the top tens. I licked my lips, tasting salt and Noriko handed me her water bottle. I took a couple huge gulps and handed the bottle to Tohma who finished it off. He chucked it over to the side off stage and we shared a glance. I mouthed _'First in Heaven' _and they nodded.

The cameras cut back to us and Tohma began the open notes of the song. Noriko waited for the first few bars to run pass before starting her harmony. I shook out my hair, flinging sweat away and came in at the right beat, carrying the note and jumping to the next. Our first song. We didn't actually release it until two albums in, but it was the first song we played together, only polished, refined. Now a work of art and mimicked by adoring fans every where. Not that many could actually match the various harsh pitch changes.

It was a little in the first verse when Shuichi stumbled his way on stage. Tohma and Noriko kept on playing, even though I could hear the slight hesitation in the harmonics. I glanced over and snarled the next words, Shuichi stopping his dancing to look both scared and maybe a little sad. I took my breath and listened to the music. Tohma had added a second line of harmonies and Noriko was following his lead, so I tugged Shuichi to his feet and pointed at the mic. The next verse went okay, but I found myself adjusting my voice to match his. He was still so young sounding and he couldn't keep the same staying power, but when I matched him, it sounded like we had the same voice.

The song wound up and I took off my jacket, tossing it aside and ran a hand through my hair. A fresh water bottle appeared and I took several more gulps before handing it over to Tohma. Shuichi left the stage and Noriko took the bottle from Tohma and finished it off. The hosts talked for another minute about next week's show and then they cut back to us. Another song, but this one we'd planned out in advanced. Exactly two minutes long, it was mostly Noriko and Tohma going mad with their keyboards while I pretty much ran through all the notes I could while repeating a simple autumn haiku over and over again.

"And we're clear," someone said behind the camera.

I sat down on the edge of the stage and just dripped. A moment later, Noriko was sitting next to me, also dripping. Tohma's hair was a light brown from where his hat sat as he took off his hat and fanned himself with it, his face rosy from the heat. Stage lights were hot, but nothing was hotter than a TV stage's lights. I'm not sure why, although it might be because the stage was closer to the lights inside a studio then out in a concert hall. I scrubbed my face with my arm and just slouched.

"Someone get a fan," Noriko muttered. "They can worship us by fanning us off."

"Maybe you shouldn't wear painted-on leather," I said and shook my head, feeling sweat run down the side of my face. "Next time, let's kill those lights."

"You could have taken them out with you mic stand," Tohma said, sitting next to me.

"Ha," I muttered.

The three of us just leaned together for a moment and then I spotted Shuichi. Everyone was talking excitedly – he had done a fanboy's wet dream and performed live with the legends themselves, and it wasn't a complete mess. I smiled and flashed the peace sign, telling him that he did a great job. But instead of smiling back or even pretending to smile, he collapsed and started crying.

"What's wrong with Shuichi?"

"Oh dear, I was afraid of this."

I sighed and slung my arm over Noriko's shoulders. "It seems I busted a bubble."

"But the two of you were a good match," Noriko said, chewing on a nail. "He shouldn't be ashamed that his range isn't mature yet."

"He might not see it that way," Tohma said, unlacing the front of his shirt.

"Yeah, I think I did bust his bubble hard."

I fell back and laid spread out on the edge of the stage, my legs dangling over the side. Tohma and Noriko joined me, shoulders not quite touching.

"So, regretting joining up again?"

"How come all I can think about is how easy it was three years ago?"

"I still want a fan to fan us. Preferably one coated in oil and in one of those little slave shorts."

"Call Mika. I'm sure she can talk her one brother to show up like that."

"You're going to go after him at all?"

"Wait two more years, Tohma. Two more years and then I'll make him my slave."

"Isn't he already?"

"Only in his dreams, Noriko."

The stage crew around us was standing by, a few unplugging sound equipment while the rest seemed to be arguing about something. Tohma raised his head and sighed, sitting up and poking me in the ribs. I frowned and slapped at his hand before giving in and sitting up too. Noriko grumbled as she moved, and then it took us a little longer to actually leave the stage. The crew went swarming over the stage, dismantling lights and equipment.

"I suppose we should get moving too."

"I should call my husband and find out if he taped the show."

"Where's Kumagoro?"

We went back to the dressing room and started cleaning up. I left my stage gear on and stuffed Kumagoro into my pocket. The stage left us a little ragged but still I could see some energy in the others – Tohma humming as he took off his jacket and folded it up, Noriko's fingers tapping out a rhythm on the dressing room's counter. I bounced up and threw my arms around Tohma's shoulders, bumped my forehead against his. He laughed and let me hold onto him. Noriko draped herself over my back, her arms around his waist and her hair brushing against my arms.

"What do you say we go back to the studio and do some work?" Tohma asked.

"Let's do it!"

"Sure."

We packed what we needed in a rush and headed for N-G. Working long into the night, we finally crashed and fell asleep sprawled over Tohma's office.


	14. track thirteen

Author's Notes: I admit that I took the name Edward Wood and used it to pad my word count. It's a NaNo thing to do. But after re-reading it, I sort of liked how it keeps coming up. It's a style thing and if it annoys, it is suppose to annoy. Anyways, enjoy. PS. Ryuichi is a bit moody here.

* * *

_track thirteen_

Maybe it was me, but time just went by in a blink. There were a few more interviews, a couple group pictures done, and then Tohma was heading for the States for some business thing and taking Eiri with him. Noriko was spending some time with her family in order to make up for pretty much abandoning them during the past couple weeks and I was going out of my skull from boredom. Maybe some of memories of before we had other lives surfaced, or maybe I was being my selfish diva self, but I really wanted them here with me.

Tohma's go-to guy Sakano did a lot of hovering around me, trying to play nurse maid and manager. I admit that I wasn't the most well behaved star to him. There was something a bit off about his attitude, like he was only following me around because Tohma told him. But I guess it was okay. He did keep me busy enough that didn't get into too much trouble.

I've heard about the infamous cooking show and stood glued to my set when the reporters were camping out at Eiri's place trying to get a glimpse of Shuichi and Eiri. There was a bad taste in my mouth at how much publicity this would give his band – as much as I liked his approach, we were competitors. Sure enough, the next ratings were out and Bad Luck outsold our collection record. Not that I was too surprised, but yet I felt a little cheated.

I decided to stay home the next day and work on a few ideas of my own. Luckily I avoided getting caught in the explosion that took out the N-G building and some of the neighboring buildings. Tohma and Sakano were close by to the blast and they both got out of it without any injuries, but the building had to be rebuilt.

All that was just a background to the plans we as Grasper were setting up. There was going to be a tour. There was going to be a new album. We had solo pictures to take. We had a couple important people that wanted to shake our hands. Bad Luck might be new, they might be the star child of N-G, but they weren't ready to become king yet.

Tohma and Noriko showed up at my place early one morning, Tohma with a box of little rice cakes and Noriko a pitcher of tea. I waved them in after saying hi and plopped down on the floor with my crayons and Kumagoro. Tohma opened the treats box and selected a small cake while Noriko poured tea all around. I stuck Kumagoro on top of my head and took a cup of tea.

"You're getting too thin again," Tohma said, licking a bit of frosting off his lips.

Noriko peered over her cup at me and nodded. I sighed and took a small cake for myself and nibbled on the corner even though I didn't feel hungry. It seemed to satisfy them. Tohma set his cup down and held out a pre-release article to me. I read through it and raised my eyebrows.

"Wow."

"It should be expected. They did well enough on their own, but this is a big moment for a new band," Tohma said.

"What do you expect from an N-G band?" Noriko said and swiped my cake. She took a big bite and then held it out to me. "We do produce the best in the business."

"Just wait for their second album and then decide if they are that good," I said and took a bite from the treat. Noriko smiled and stuffed the rest in her mouth.

"Ryuichi?"

"I'm fine," I said and waved away Tohma's concern.

He didn't say anything but he was looking hard at me. I tried on a smile. He and Noriko exchanged glances and I could tell they were worried. I didn't have enough energy to really care.

"Noriko and I were talking about surprising Bad Luck with the news during their live broadcast next week."

"Surprise them how?"

"Tatsuya and I are giving Shuichi tickets to his date in Disneyland," Noriko said, wrapped some hair around her fingers. "But we weren't sure how to present them and the news."

"But then I remembered that Shuichi is a big fan of yours and so I thought you may wish to help."

I took another cake and chewed on it while I thought it over. If it was me in Shuichi's position, I would probably cream my pants if my hero showed up to give me tickets to a famous resort and tell me I went platinum. But I wasn't sure how I liked the idea of a date. It just was weird not because it was another man, but because of who was involved. Eiri never struck me as the kind of guy that did cheesy stuff just because.

"Fine," I said and dug into the box for another treat.

"That reminds me, K left a large box for you at the office," Tohma said, taking a sip of tea. "You can pick it up later on."

"Last time he did that, I got a cream pie in my face."

"Why?"

"April Fool's Day trick was the main reason, but he decided to give it to me early because of the whole birthday thing."

"What a weird thing to do," Noriko said, licking her fingers. She snatched the last goodie and sighed. "Americans are so weird."

"They say the same about us."

An uncomfortable silence descended, all of us just sitting where we were and not really looking at anything. I leaned back against the couch and found Noriko's legs instead. She didn't push me away and soon I felt a hand reach down and tug at my hair. I looked up and Tohma looked down, his fingers digging a little into my scalp.

"Something is bothering you," he said.

"They stole my thunder." Noriko wrinkled her nose and I added quickly, "Our thunder."

She sighed and kicked at me so I moved over to Tohma's legs. He only nodded at my words, as if he expected me to speak them. Noriko huffed and leaned down, poking at my ribs.

"Then get up and steal it back! I'm sick of you whiny little prima donnas all whining about how you can't do anything!" Noriko leaned further down, practically chasing me as I tried to climb into Tohma's lap and over him to escape her yelling and poking. "That little punk needs his lover's okay before he can take a shit and you are whining that he is younger and prettier than you! You! Ryuichi Sakuma! Ha! Is this how a legend acts?"

"Now, Noriko. . ."

"Butt out!"

I grabbed Kumagoro and put him between me and Noriko. She smacked the rabbit away and I grabbed on to Tohma as she gave me a shake.

"Is it? Because if I remember right, you were going to make sure people never forget us and that we will always be Grasper! And that means we don't start crying when we get real competition! We get up and we make them pay!"

I was sprawled over Tohma, and she was pressed against me, leaning close enough to kiss if I wanted to. But I just wanted to get loose even if I might accidentally hit Tohma with a flailing arm. But he stopped that motion by grabbing my arm, his expression nearly a match for Noriko's.

"She's right."

"I damn well better be right!"

"But. . ." Tohma poked me and I cut off my protest, taking a deep breath. "I guess we need to make a couple promotional videos, huh?"

"That's the spirit!"

"We will have to set a date for that," Tohma replied, letting go of my arm. "But I do know something all of us need to do."

Noriko sat up and I slowly stretched out, half on Tohma's lap and half on her lap. "Like what?"

He reached down and dug his fingers into my hair again. I stretched a little more and Noriko jabbed her fingers in my side. I yelped and rolled off them and back on to the floor.

"Pictures for the album," Tohma said, folding his hands together. "The photographer requested a few more solo shots of all of us."

"They want more? Why can't they just photoshop us out and use the extras that way?"

"I find it is easier to go with their requests," Tohma replied, not quite smiling. Noriko pouted and I just half crawled under the table, and grabbed Kumagoro.

"They even make a big-shot president like you bow to their commands? I'm crushed. My image of you has been totally destroyed."

"I'm not the President anymore."

I smacked my head on the bottom of the table. Noriko dropped her tea cup. Whimpering, I dragged myself out from under the table and stared at him. Tohma laughed a little, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I thought the only way to punish Sakano for his actions was to give him the worse job in the company – mine." He blushed a little under our stares and held up his hands. "It's only temporary. All he needs to do is bring Shuichi back from the States and then I'll think of something else to do to him."

"Harsh," I said after thinking it over.

"So that's why you suddenly have so much free time," Noriko said. She looked down at the tea cup and huffed. "And now I have a mess to clean up."

I picked the cup up and set it on the table and stood up. "What are we waiting for then? Let's get this stuff done!"

They both looked at me and I smiled, putting Kumagoro on top of my head. "No one outsells the great Ryuichi Sakuma without a fight!"

It must have been what they wanted to hear, because they both stood up and the three of us left the apartment with little fuss or bother. I made sure my door was locked and we piled into the elevator and headed down. After a brief discussion, we decided to make a promotional video first and then tackle the solo shots. So Tohma made the call on his cell phone before we left for the temporary N-G headquarters.

Walking into the front door, we were immediately set upon by a group of hair stylists and make-up artists, cheered on by war cries in a falsetto voice. I inwardly cringed and tried to hide behind a potted plant, but they had spotted me and were going in for the kill. Tohma and Noriko were already getting dragged off, their faces nearly identical. If I wasn't trying so much to get back out of the doors, I probably would have laughed.

"Darlings! I must must **_must_** have that song!"

Drifting behind the mass of stylists was a vision in purple lace, the kind of vision that usually left road marks over animals slower than itself. I knew him as Edward Wood, although a blind monkey would know that Edward Wood was not his name and that he would much rather be a she, thank you very much. He was the best when it came to making pictures come to life. He also worked with Nittle Grasper during our nine plus years, putting us in strange outfits and making sure that we would look fabulous in each and every promotional video he made.

Although it looked like no one told him that we were back together.

"Naughty Tohma for not telling me that you were getting your band back together!" he said, hands on hips as he surveyed his staff. "I had to find out by seeing the display in the music store!"

Tohma couldn't reply – there was a woman attacking his face with makeup while a second one was making sure his hair was cut the right away. I tried scrambling away from everyone, but a hand caught my sleeve and dragged me back.

"And you!" I moved back and ran into a wall of stylists as Edward Wood leaned in close. "Are hiding such a fabulous body in those ugly clothing! Where on earth did you drag those jeans from, mm? A sewer?"

Under protest, we were marched through N-G by the group of stylists and shoved into an elevator. We went up a couple floors and then we were marched through the halls and into a large open room with all sorts of cameras and equipment strewn about. I tried to get away again, but Edward Wood had his hand on the collar of my jacket and dragged me along to a trio of small dressing rooms. We were shoved into the rooms with the order to change.

I blinked at what was laid out for me. Now, I wasn't a prude and I was not a stranger to leather, but even with my enjoyment of all things tight, the outfit went one step further than I thought anything could go. There were more buckles then it needed, and a huge gap between the laced top and the waistband of my pants, which didn't have enough buttons to close at the top. And then there were the boots. I had long legs, most people in the business of filming us knew that and enjoyed angling their cameras up to make them look even longer, but the boots added a couple more inches to my height without looking anything but bad-assed in the process.

Taking a few steps in the boots, I looked at the huge mirror and decided I liked the effect. I posed, legs spread and holding an imaginary mic stand in front of me. Nodding that I can indeed pull off this weird look, I stepped out of the room and right into Tohma. He too was in leather, his a bloody red color and covering almost all of his skin except his head. I blinked, looked down and then looked away, only to be looking directly at Noriko's leather clad cleavage. She wore a suit with killer heels, delicate slashes marking the dark blue leather and showing off her flawless skin.

"Somebody put makeup on them and get me the number three!" Edward Wood squealed somewhere to our left.

We were attacked again, but this time, we didn't move. The leather outfits weren't that hard to move in, but I think we had decided to accept our fate for now. I wasn't sure if Edward Wood was going to take pictures, make a video, or do both at the same time. I think Tohma also trying to figure out what was going on because he was really watching them as they ran around us setting things up.

"You know," Noriko said, tapping a foot. "I'll kill myself in these heels."

"You have worn taller ones."

"But I didn't have to do anything but smile."

"Do you think we should break for it?"

"I said I can't move in these things."

"Tohma and I can carry you!"

"Dressed like this?"

"Okay, we can get naked," I replied. Both of them sighed and I tried to scratch at my head but one of the stylists batted my hand out of her way.

Edward Wood came back to see how things were going. He clapped his hands together and beamed widely. Knowing that his glee meant trouble, the three of us huddled tighter together.

"Splendid! Oh just look at you three!" He shooed away the stylists and sent them to work on a bunch of painted panels. "So sexy and dangerous! That is what I saw when you played that song on _Hit Stage_!"

"Are you suggesting we put together a video on an unrecorded song?" Tohma was his ever icy self despite looking like he had escaped from a mental institute that shopped at S&M clubs.

Edward Wood blinked for a moment and then grinned even wider. "Now, we all know that you three had played it before even if you haven't set it down on tape. However, I think we can settle for pictures until you get it recorded enough for us to play with."

We were herded to stand in front of some kind of weird plexi-glass shaped into triangles with small black balls inside of them. Edward Wood moved us into position, and took a couple test pictures. He hummed, had the lights moved around, had the background changed around and took a couple more before he was happy enough to tell us to start posing.

The one thing wrong with posing in skin tight leather was how hot and sweaty it got. I ended up unlacing the short little shirt I had so it hung open with the lacings dragging against my bare skin above the short waist of my pants. Noriko then had to drag her nails across my skin and sent Edward Wood into a fit of photographic ecstasy. Tohma joined in and suddenly we were not-quite flirting with each other and hamming it up for the pictures. After a couple hours, Edward Wood had enough pictures and sent us to change back into our street clothes, though he talked as if we were coming back in a couple hours with a recording of the song he wanted.

"It is me, or does this keep getting harder and harder?" Noriko asked as she collapsed into a chair and fanned herself.

"We are older," Tohma replied and he took a careful sip of a too cold water bottle. "And I think they are making lights hotter than they were."

"It's not that bad," I said, leaning back against my chair, sucking on an ice cube.

"Yeah but you're used to it still."

I stuck my tongue out at them and closed my eyes. I hoped that they would let us keep the leather. I had liked mine once I figured out that the shirt doesn't have to be laced so tight to look good. Not that I would always wear it undone. I liked how that looked too.

"Do you know what's really bothering me?"

I opened my eyes and looked over at Noriko. She looked serious, a bottle in her hands and her eyes on the ground.

"Is something wrong?" Tohma asked, leaning forward.

Noriko looked up and blushed. "I never knew Ryuichi has been working out and it's really disturbing that he can make leather look hot."

Tohma sputtered and I would have tossed Kumagoro at her except he was sleeping and I really didn't want to hear him being mad at me. Noriko's cheeks were a flame red by then and she kicked at Tohma's feet.

"Stop that! I'm serious!"

"Is this the first time you've noticed that?" Tohma couldn't keep his face straight, though he did manage to stop laughing. "It does take a little bit of strength to pull off some of the tricks he does."

"But he doesn't look like it!"

"You want me to be all muscle bound?"

"Well, maybe?"

I laughed, collapsing to the side. Tohma leaned over, smiling. "Does your husband know about your secret need for muscles?"

Noriko gasped and smacked Tohma on the arm. I continued laughing until I had no more air and then I just laid on my side, grinning. She aimed a kick at me before collapsing back and rubbed her water bottle against her forehead.

"I think we should finish that song before we are attacked again," Noriko said, making a face. "Edward Wood would probably hunt us and tie us down if we don't give in to his wishes by tomorrow."

"I suppose we should." Tohma stood up and ran a hand through his hair. Biting back a sigh, I got up as well and we tugged Noriko to her feet. As we left the room, Edward Wood blew us kisses and told us to hurry up. We were done with the song by midnight.


End file.
